3 Signs Your Partner Is Invested In Your Relationship
If your partner displays these three behaviors, they likely love you a lot more than you think.
By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | August 27, 2024
In relationships, there often comes a time when everything seems to be going well, but upon closer reflection, you realize things are not just fine—they're genuinely excellent. This is the moment when you recognize that your partner's commitment and love for you are deeper than you initially understood.
Here are three signs to look for when you are unsure if your relationship is in a peaceful equilibrium of love or going through a phase of stagnation.
1. Stopping You From Self-Sabotaging
When your partner knows your self-sabotage cues and calls you out on them, it's a sign of deep understanding and care. They've taken the time to learn your patterns—those moments when you might unknowingly undermine your own happiness, success or relationship.
"I constantly compared myself to his ex, who was prettier, skinnier and shorter, just because he had briefly mentioned he liked shorter girls. I hated everything about myself: my looks, my personality, even the way my voice sounded. I felt like I sounded like a crackhead all the time," a Reddit user shares her struggle with self-sabotage. "Him telling me to stop doubting his intentions to be with me (angrily one day) was a slap to my face. I am amazed at how he stuck around for so long, but I love him for it and will spend every day making sure he knows that. I'm doing a lot better now and loving myself more every day. I love him to the deepest part of my soul."
Whether you avoid confrontation, doubt your abilities or pull away emotionally, a good partner recognizes these behaviors and steps in, not to criticize but to help you break the cycle.
By gently but firmly calling you out, they show that they are committed to your growth and well-being. They want you to see yourself through their eyes: capable, deserving and worthy of love and success.
This kind of awareness and intervention is not only a testament to their attentiveness but also to their dedication to helping you become the best version of yourself. It's a clear sign that they are invested in your relationship and your journey, demonstrating a love that goes beyond the surface.
A 2010 study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that when partners are supportive and help each other grow, it leads to stronger relationships and more personal success. However, if a partner is unsupportive or critical, self-improvement can be harder and strain the relationship.
2. Proactively Planning And Acting On Your Future Together
When your partner creates future plans with you and actively works to make them a reality, it's a powerful sign of their commitment and love. This behavior shows that they don't just see you as part of their present life, but also as an integral part of their future.
A 2017 study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology suggests that people are more likely to stay in a relationship if they believe it will make them happy in the long run, not just in the present.
If your partner is actively considering a future with you, it indicates that they expect to be satisfied in the long term, which is a strong sign of commitment and a healthy relationship.
Whether it's planning a vacation, discussing where to live or even setting goals for the next few years, these plans demonstrate that they envision a long-term future with you.
And it's not just about making plans or promises—it's about taking real steps to make those plans happen. Whether it's saving money for a future home, researching a dream trip or making changes to support your shared goals, these actions show that your partner is serious about your relationship. They're willing to put in the effort to make your shared dreams a reality.
This level of dedication is a clear sign that your partner's love for you runs deep and is focused on building a lasting, meaningful future together.
3. Self-Improvement For A Stronger Relationship
When your partner makes a conscious effort to work on themselves to be better for you, it's a profound demonstration of their love and commitment. This kind of self-improvement might involve addressing personal habits, emotional challenge, or even professional goals that they know will contribute positively to your relationship.
"I was a chicken farmer before meeting my wife, who's allergic to birds. Gave that up, gave up peanut butter and I have no regrets in the slightest (though I do miss raising chickens, I'd miss my wife far more). She's told me it's how she knows I love her since nobody else, including her family, has given things up (yes, even peanut butter)," shares another Redditor.
Their motivation for self-improvement is rooted in a desire to be a better partner to you. It's more than just personal growth—it's about contributing to the health and happiness of your relationship.
Think you might be unknowingly sabotaging your relationship? Take this test to find out: Relationship Sabotage Scale
A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here, and on PsychologyToday.com, here.