3 Ways That Dating Apps Can Lead You To Marriage
Who says online dating can't lead to a lasting relationship? Certainly not research, which suggests the opposite.
By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | August 13, 2024
While the process of dating online can be a source of frustration for many, research shows thatmore than one-third of marriages in America begin online.
You may have heard or experienced your fair share of dating app mishaps and let-downs, with swiping for a match feeling like an endless chore. However, it appears that there are a lot more "success stories" from these apps than we realize.
With the right approach, these platforms can foster deep emotional bonds, provide opportunities for meaningful communication and help users find partners who align with their long-term goals and values.
A 2023 study published in Communication Research examined the pathway of meeting on a dating app to ultimately getting married. Liesel Sharabi, author of the paper, found that her participants' success stories shared three common elements that explained why these relationships had flourished.
Here are three reasons why meeting online can result in enduring marriages, according to the study.
1. They Lay The Groundwork For Deeper Intimacy
Online dating has the unique ability to create a strong foundation of intimacy between partners. Sharabi discovered that the digital nature of these interactions encourages self-disclosure and meaningful conversation from the start. Because these relationships often begin without the distractions of physical proximity, communication becomes the core of the connection.
"We probably asked a few questions that we generally don't ask until six months in. If you're smart, you ask them long before you ever get married," says Holly, a participant from the study, who found that dating online encouraged essential discussions that brought her and her partner closer.
Research shows that effective communication is vital in building emotional intimacy, sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction in the long-run.
"We have pretty good communication, but I think that was the tone we set from the jump. We spent a lot of time talking so we still spend a lot of time talking, even when it's uncomfortable," says Lakeisha, another participant from the study.
2. They Help Expand Your Dating Pool
Online dating platforms often introduce people to strangers outside of their existing social circles, allowing them to meet potential partners they would have never encountered through friends or family. This broadening of the dating pool offers a fresh start, as these connections are not influenced by preconceived notions or judgments from shared networks.
"You're not meeting someone from a friend who already has preconceived notions. You're not getting someone else's opinion. You're forming your own opinion," says Holly.
While this might mean fewer common experiences to draw from initially, Sharabi suggests that a couple that meets online has the opportunity to build an entirely new connection, based on relationship-enhancing factors such as shared goals and core values, a process of deeper learning about one another and an ongoing, conscious effort to adapt to each other's backgrounds and social networks.
"We had no mutual friends, no immediate mutual interests and he was from a completely different state. We had to connect in other ways, value-wise and personality-wise instead of experience-wise," explains Sunny, a participant from the study.
3. They Allow You To Date Mindfully
Online dating can prompt individuals to make more intentional and thoughtful decisions when choosing a partner. Sharabi suggests that with access to a larger pool of potential matches, people are less likely to settle due to convenience, limited options or a fear of being single.
"I think it has made me more sure of our relationship, because I was able to directly compare him to other people and because I chose him instead of people who would have been easier to be with," says Naomi, a participant who highlights how dating apps made her more confident in her choice of partner as someone who truly meets her standards.
Research shows that being a mindful relationship partner, from the beginning of the dating process and throughout one's relationship can improve its quality and meaningfulness in the long-term.
"It forced me to slow down, to think more about it, to learn more about the person before I became involved," explains Adriana, a participant who also felt empowered by conscious decision-making through dating apps.
Dating app success stories depend largely on a couple's intentions and approach. It's vital to use these platforms with purpose. What you seek from the app, how well you understand and enforce your own dating standards and the effort you put into nurturing the connection all play a crucial role. Asking important questions early on and ensuring compatibility are also key steps in building a solid foundation.
Dating apps, when used mindfully, can be powerful tools for forming meaningful and enduring relationships. Remember, the journey doesn't end when you match with someone great—it's how you cultivate and sustain that relationship that transforms it into a lasting one.
Wondering if your dating app use is helpful or problematic? Take this test to receive science-backed answers: Problematic Tinder Use Scale
A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.