3 'Paradoxes Of Life' That Can Completely Alter Your Worldview

These three 'paradoxes' might just be essential life lessons in disguise. Here's how they can change your life—forever and for the better.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | November 04, 2024

Have you ever noticed how life is filled with strange contradictions? Think back to a moment when things that seemed to be working against you ended up helping you grow, or when your biggest challenge somehow became your biggest success. These are not just random coincidences. Life is full of paradoxes that help us succeed in unexpected ways.

Here are three paradoxes of life that can change it for the better, according to research.

1. The More You Face Your Fears, The Less Afraid You Will Be

Fear often feels like a powerful barrier, holding us back from opportunities that could be life-changing. But paradoxically, fear itself can become a catalyst for growth when we face it head-on.

For instance, you might feel riddled with anxiety before a public speaking event, imagining all the possible ways it could go wrong. Yet, once you're done, regardless of how perfectly or imperfectly it goes, a sense of accomplishment often overrides the initial fear.

This experience is part of what's known as "exposure," a principle that gradually reduces fear and anxiety through direct engagement with the very thing we're afraid of.

A 2020 study published in Systematic Reviews suggests that individuals who participate in exposure-based therapies and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) experience reduced anxiety and feel more empowered to manage life's challenges. Considering this information, it is hard to think of fear as the enemy.

When we encounter fears and prove to ourselves that we can endure and succeed, we build a self-narrative of resilience. We learn that we are not defined by the limits fear imposes on us but by our willingness to move forward regardless.

2. The More Connected You Are Online, The Lonelier You May Be

The magic of new-age digital connectivity is that we can interact with multiple people with the simple push of a button. The paradox, however, is that the longer you "connect" with people online, the more likely it is that your relationships offline will suffer.

For instance, parents who spend significant time on social media often find it harder to stay engaged with their children. In a 2020Pew Research Center study, two-thirds of parents in the U.S admitted that advancements in technology and social media have made parenting more challenging and roughly six in ten parents say they spend too much time on their smartphones.

When we're glued to our screens, our attention is split, and even a brief scroll can pull us out of meaningful interactions with our kids, partners or friends. We may be physically present, but emotionally, we're miles away, absorbed in a world that often doesn't reciprocate the energy we pour into it.

The idea behind this life paradox is simple: if you want more fulfilling relationships, be sure to put down your phone and mindfully engage with the people around you.

3. Success Happens Slowly, And Then All At Once

Think of filling a bucket with water, one drop at a time. It might feel painfully slow and insignificant in the beginning, but stay with it, and before you know it, the bucket is overflowing. This phenomenon, sometimes called the "compounding effect," shows up in all areas of life—whether it's a daily exercise habit, consistent reading or even a small act of kindness.

In his bestselling book Atomic Habits, author James Clear explains that by improving just one percent daily, you can see extraordinary growth by the year's end. Each tiny action alone may feel modest. Yet over time, these efforts converge, generating a momentum that propels you toward a much larger, often surprising, payoff.

Ironically, we live in a world of instant everything, but real progress does not work that way. This underscores the paradox: real, meaningful success is built on sustained, almost invisible change.

Embracing this idea can help you stay motivated during the "slow" phases, knowing that your efforts are laying the foundation for a profound breakthrough.

Life's contradictions are more than just counterintuitive truths—they're invitations to live more fully and embrace the process, not just the outcome. By leaning into these contradictions, you may not only find success, but also a sense of meaning, resilience and connection that make the journey worthwhile.

Are you spending too much time on your phone and missing out on meaningful connections? Take this test to find out: The Phubbing Scale

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.