6 Ways To Start Investing In Your Marriage

Want an enduring, loving marriage? You need to start investing in it.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | October 14, 2024

A successful marriage is a journey, not a destination. Like any meaningful journey, it requires continuous effort, care and attention. It's not necessarily grand gestures on anniversaries or birthdays that sustain a marriage; it's the countless small, everyday actions that build trust and safeguard intimacy over time.

In fact, a study published this month in Personal Relationships suggests that couples can enhance marital satisfaction by consistently investing in their marriage. By building a habit of such investment, couples can create a partnership that not only survives but flourishes for years to come.

Here are six proven ways to invest in your marriage and help it thrive long-term, according to the study.

1. Emotional Gestures

One of the most powerful ways to keep a marriage strong is through consistent emotional gestures. Seemingly small acts like saying "I love you," giving genuine compliments or offering a reassuring touch can go a long way in making your partner feel valued and emotionally secure.

Emotional gestures go beyond just words of affection—they also involve being fully present and responsive to your partner's emotional needs. For instance, a 2021 study published in Social and Personality Psychology Compass suggests that being a good listener and offering your undivided attention when a partner shares their feelings, concerns or dreams enhances perceptions that you care for them, which in turn enhances relationship satisfaction.

Whether they need comfort during a difficult time or simply someone to share their joy, emotional responsiveness reminds your partner that you're not just physically present but emotionally available.

2. Material Gestures

Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. Material gestures, such as buying thoughtful gifts, leaving loving notes or planning a surprise date can make your partner feel deeply appreciated.

Gestures such as taking on a larger share of household chores or financial planning can also demonstrate commitment to the relationship while lightening your partner's load when they're tired.

These acts show that you are willing to invest resources, time and effort into making your partner feel special. While material gestures shouldn't be the sole way to express love, they can add a layer of tangible appreciation that reinforces emotional bonds.

3. Respecting Personal Space

While closeness is key to a strong marriage, giving each other personal space is equally essential. Healthy marriages strike a balance between intimacy and independence. Allowing your partner time for self-care, hobbies and individual growth demonstrates self-assuredness and respect for their autonomy.

Respecting personal space also helps prevent burnout in the relationship, as each partner has the opportunity to recharge and bring their best selves back to the marriage. This can also create greater appreciation for time spent together.

4. Prioritizing Physical Intimacy

Maintaining physical attraction and a healthy sex life is also an important aspect of marriage. This doesn't mean you need to change yourself or look and act a certain way to keep your partner's interest, but staying mindful of physical intimacy and making time to connect helps sustain the romantic spark.

A 2023 study published in Scientific Reports suggests that physical affection, such as hugs, kisses or cuddling, can enhance love and closeness in relationships. Being open about sexual needs and desires also ensures that both partners feel fulfilled and valued in the relationship.

5. Engaging In Shared Activities

Whether it's going on a weekend trip, cooking together or starting a new hobby, shared experiences help couples create lasting memories and strengthen their bond. Such activities offer an opportunity to connect, laugh and grow together. Prioritizing time for each other outside of everyday responsibilities can also rekindle passion and foster a deeper connection.

Additionally, a 2019 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that sharing such positive moments helps couples build "emotional capital," which strengthens relationships and protects them against possible challenges.

"Spouses who reported more emotional capital tended to make more benevolent and forgiving interpretations of their partners' behaviors, which in turn predicted reduced reactivity to partners' transgressions," the researchers explain.

6. Helping A Partner's Friends And Family

A successful marriage often extends beyond the couple itself. Taking the time to invest in your partner's family and friendships can enhance your marriage by creating a sense of shared community.

Helping out your spouse's loved ones when needed, or simply showing up and supporting them at significant events and gatherings also signals that you care about the people important to them.

Happy marriages don't just happen—they require thoughtful and consistent action. Love, while essential, is only part of the equation. Relationship investments benefit both you and your spouse, creating a reciprocal cycle of fulfillment, trust and joy that you share throughout your lives.

Curious how satisfied you are in your marriage? Take this science-backed test to learn more: Marital Satisfaction Scale

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.