How Soon Can You Plan A 'Baecation' With Your Partner?
When it comes to travelling together, timing is everything. Here's how you can calculate your first baecation checkpoint.
By Jourdan Travers, LCSW | November 14, 2023
Vacations are a wonderful opportunity to escape from the daily grind, relax and strengthen the bond of your relationship. But they can also be a litmus test to determine whether you and your partner are truly compatible, as they exercise your ability to navigate challenges and give you quality time outside the usual relationship routine. But the question remains—how soon should you go on a "baecation" with your partner? Should you wait for a specific time or trust your intuition and take the plunge?
Planning a vacation with a new partner can be tricky. Going too early might result in awkward conversation and feeling confined, while waiting too long may turn into missed opportunities. The consequences of taking a baecation without thinking through the process also include:
- Limited understanding. Going on a baecation without having taken the time to fully understand your partner's habits, quirks and preferences can cause trouble in paradise. Traveling together exposes you to different aspects of your partner's personality, which can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts during the trip.
- Risk of overlooking red flags. Rushing into a baecation might cause you to overlook potential red flags or compatibility issues in your relationship, as the initial excitement of love, set against the near-perfect backdrop of a care-free vacation, can cloud your judgment regarding your long-term compatibility.
- Pressure to have a perfect time. The prospect of a romantic getaway can create pressure on both you and your partner to have a perfect time, which may not always be achievable, especially when the relationship is still in its early stages. Unrealistic expectations about the trip can lead to disappointment if things don't go as planned.
- Relationship Unmasking: Vacations have a way of bringing out aspects of a person's personality that you may not have seen before. Going too early can lead to premature revelations that could affect the way you perceive your partner.
Here are three comprehensive ways to arrive at a well-informed decision about when the right time is for your romantic getaway.
1. The 100-Day Rule
Consider giving your relationship some time to develop before planning a baecation. Try the "100-Day Rule" for starters, where you wait until you've spent at least 100 days together as a couple to make a big relationship move like the baecation. This allows you to build a foundation of trust, understand each other's communication styles and discover shared interests.
Or, you could use relationship milestones as a guide. Wait until you've successfully navigated a few challenges or celebrated significant events together, like festivals and professional achievements. You will know it's a good time to go ahead with your baecation plans when you feel that you've achieved some level of emotional intimacy and understanding.
2. Compatibility And Relatedness
In general, compatibility and connection are key factors in determining the strength of a relationship. A study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology affirmed that when one person in a relationship feels emotionally fulfilled and connected to their partner (relatedness), it subsequently leads to increased satisfaction in the relationship for their partner. These findings are influenced by a person's compassionate goals, which involve caring and having supportive intentions.
Therefore, while there's no specific timeframe that works for everyone, it's vital to assess the depth of your connection with your partner on various levels to gauge your readiness for a vacation together. Consider the following:
- Do your interests align? Would you want to try out the activities your partner is interested in or will you spend the vacation mostly apart?
- Are your communication styles complementary? Would you be willing to dig deeper and have conversations with your partner or would you both prefer comfortable silence?
- Do you share similar preferences for travel destinations and activities? Are you willing to compromise if your partner wants to go camping or are you more of a room service person?
If you find that your interests and values largely align, it may be a positive sign to begin planning that getaway.
3. Relationship Dynamics
Another approach to determine the right time for a baecation is to evaluate the dynamics of your relationship. Do you possess a reasonable understanding of each other's boundaries and expectations? How effective are you at conflict resolution and problem-solving?
Research published in Contemporary Family Therapy suggests that high self-confidence in problem-solving abilities is positively correlated with relationship satisfaction, with effective communication skills being a significant determining factor.
Opting to wait until you've established a strong foundation of trust and understanding may be a wiser choice rather than rushing into things. If you've encountered a few disagreements or misunderstandings and managed to resolve them effectively, it's a positive indication that you can handle the challenges a vacation may present.
There isn't a universal answer for when to go on a baecation with your partner. Perhaps the best advice on the right time for a baecation is when you feel confident in your connection, have established trust and share a common vision for the trip. While there are potential downsides to going too early, with careful consideration, open communication and a dash of patience, you can plan a baecation that creates lasting memories and strengthens your bond as a couple.