A Therapist Teaches Men How To Impress A Woman Upon First Sight
Ditch the personality overhaul and make these small tweaks to improve your dating game.
By Jourdan Travers, LCSW | April 25, 2023
Science can help us do amazing things, like splitting the atom and predicting the path of a storm. It can also help us appear 'hotter' to the opposite sex – not as amazing but, arguably, equally important.
Here are three tips for men on how to capture a woman's attention during a first impression.
#1. Be direct when choosing your pickup lines
According to research published in the Journal of Social Psychology, a simple "hello" is likely to get you a lot further than a cheesy pickup line.
In an experiment examining women's impressions of men using various pickup lines, women favored men for a long-term relationship if they used a direct or innocuous line instead of a flippant or cliche line because the latter conveyed lower trustworthiness and intelligence.
So, instead of subjecting women to a cringefest of over-used lines (e.g., "I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?"), be direct and ask, "Can I have your number?".
Being direct wins you the chance to determine whether a woman is interested in you in the first few minutes of an interaction. It also saves you the anxiety you may feel as a result of being unnecessarily ambiguous or cheesy.
#2. Dress in red
It's no surprise that the way you dress and groom yourself affects how attractive you appear to others. Even knowing this, too many aspiring men neglect their appearance.
Step one is to get yourself cleaned up and well-dressed. From there, research suggests that donning the color red can give you an extra touch of attention-grabbing style.
For instance, a 2010 study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology found that men who wore red or who were framed with a rosy hue were perceived by women to be both attractive and to have good sex appeal. This was true cross-culturally; results were consistent in China, England, Germany, and the United States.
The authors state, "Red is typically thought of as a sexy color for women only, but our findings indicate that a red–sex link is also applicable to men. In documenting this link, our research illustrates the fascinating way in which red is used in communication between the sexes, conveying important information in subtle, and perhaps even automatic, ways."
#3. Make her laugh
While you don't have to be a stand-up comedian or a meme-maker to attract women, a man who is able to radiate joy, laughter, and positivity will naturally attract women to be in his presence. Women gravitate towards those who they think can genuinely make them feel good – and having a good sense of humor achieves that.
A study published in Evolutionary Psychology affirms the important role of humor in courtship.
Jeffrey Hall, the lead author of the paper, states, "When two people are laughing at the same thing, they are basically saying, 'I share your perspective, your values, and I certainly share what you think is amusing.'"
Attraction is sometimes unexplainable. But relationship science can give you clues that increase your chances for success. Try to (1) be direct and honest with your verbal advances, (2) make sure you are dressed for the occasion, and (3) use non-threatening humor to lighten the air.