3 Phrases That You Need To Use More Often In Your Relationship

Language is unspeakably powerful. Here's how three phrases alone can change the trajectory of your relationship.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | October 28, 2024

Small but intentional phrases can make a tremendous impact in relationships. They carry the weight of empathy, validation and curiosity, helping you bridge emotional gaps and build a secure attachment. The key is to use them with genuine intent and mindfulness, letting each phrase become a means to express the deeper values that keep your relationship thriving.

Here are three simple yet powerful phrases that, when used consistently, can create a stronger, more connected relationship.

1. "I'm Grateful For The Way You…"

Picture coming home to a partner who says, "I'm grateful for the way you always make me laugh, even on my worst days." It's a simple yet powerful reminder that you're appreciated for your unique contributions. This phrase allows both of you to savor the qualities you love about each other, keeping your bond fresh and exciting.

While expressing gratitude is key to relationship satisfaction, it's even more impactful when it's specific. By saying, "I'm grateful for the way you…" and adding a heartfelt example, you highlight what you truly value in your partner. It's an opportunity to acknowledge who they are and what they bring to your life.

Research consistently shows that couples who regularly express appreciation tend to be happier and more resilient. Recognizing specific qualities can boost your partner's self-esteem and reinforce their positive actions. Plus, sharing your gratitude helps you focus on the good moments, cultivating a sense of positivity in the relationship.

2. "What Would Be Most Helpful For You Right Now?"

Rather than assuming what your partner needs, asking "What would be most helpful for you right now?" opens up a line of supportive communication. Supportive communication, through care and empathy, is key in helping people manage tough emotions and challenging situations. And this phrase shows that you're not only willing to help, but that you genuinely want to meet them where they are. It's a reminder that you're on the same team, and their needs matter.

Offering specific help can ease feelings of overwhelm, particularly in stressful moments. Asking how you can support them directly gives your partner permission to express their needs in a clear way. This openness helps both partners feel safer and more understood, creating a "secure base" where each feels comfortable relying on the other.

This question brings you both into a shared space of problem-solving and emotional care. For example, if your partner is dealing with a stressful project, this question lets them tell you exactly what would make a difference for them. Maybe they need a listening ear, a hand with the chores or simply someone to remind them they're capable. This phrase goes beyond superficial support and deepens the sense of partnership in your relationship.

3. "I'd love to hear more about that."

This phrase encourages your partner to share their thoughts and feelings without interruption. Instead of just nodding along, saying "I'd love to hear more about that" shows genuine curiosity and care, letting them know you're truly listening and interested in what they have to say. A 2012 study published in the Journal of Personality found that people with higher levels of curiosity felt closer to their partners and expected their partners to feel the same.

Here, active listening becomes one of the most effective ways to boost relationship satisfaction. When you encourage your partner to expand on their thoughts, it makes them feel valued and acknowledged. This type of listening can reduce feelings of isolation or frustration because it shows that they have a safe space to fully express themselves. By genuinely investing in each other's experiences, you foster a deeper sense of trust and emotional intimacy.

In a world full of distractions, giving someone your full attention is a powerful act of love. Saying "I'd love to hear more about that" invites your partner to open up about things they might otherwise keep to themselves. Whether it's about their day, a new passion, or a memory they want to share, this phrase signals that their inner world matters to you. It's a simple, yet meaningful way to nurture closeness through conversation.

Could your relationship use more of these phrases? Take this science-backed test to find out: Relationship Satisfaction Scale

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here, and on PsychologyToday.com, here.