3 Ways 'Toxic Optimism' Hinder Your Personal Growth

Is your optimism realitic, or is it on the verge of delusional? Here's how the latter can slowly chip away at your happiness.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | October 10, 2024

In a culture that encourages staying positive at all costs and at all times, it's easy to presume that more optimism is always better. But when positivity crosses a line, it can morph into "toxic positivity"—an overemphasis on optimism that blinds us to reality.

This phenomenon is rooted in "positivity bias," a cognitive tendency that leads us to favor positive information, expect the best outcomes and hold onto only the good memories, all while ignoring or downplaying the negatives.

A study conducted in March 2024 in the Journal of Cognitive Sciences and Human Development looks at how the rise of the "good vibes only" mentality during the pandemic is linked to "toxic positivity," where people feel pressured to be constantly happy. In fact, it has doubled post-2022. Further, the study stresses the need to recognize toxic positivity as a serious issue.

At first glance, this bias may seem like a protective or a defensive mechanism, but it can prevent us from fully experiencing life's complexities, including its necessary challenges and failures. Here are three ways this overly optimistic thinking may be subtly harming you.

1. Overestimating Reality And Obscuring Truth

You might often overlook a situation's negative aspects in order to focus only on the positives—a hallmark of the "positivity bias." We tend to report a more favorable version of reality, unconsciously dismissing the downsides. While this may help keep your mood uplifted, it can distort your understanding and assessment of important life events.

For instance, think about a time when you might have dismissed someone's repeated non-commitment by rationalizing it as "they're just busy" rather than recognizing it as a sign of disrespect or maybe poor time management at their end. In situations like these, your optimism could be preventing you from addressing real problems.

As suggested by research conducted in 2011, people often maintain their optimism because they update their beliefs more when they receive good news than when they get bad news. This happens because the brain is less effective at processing negative information that challenges optimistic beliefs. Positivity bias can lead people to develop inflated self-perceptions and uninformed positive assessments of situations, making it difficult to identify areas for growth or improvement. Rather than always focusing on the good, it's important to develop a balanced perspective, where you're able to appreciate both the positives and negatives of a situation.

2. Living in Future Fantasies

When biased toward the positive, you often lean towards the best possible outcome, not anticipating potential setbacks. If you've ever set huge goals without a backup plan, you know exactly what this might feel like.

Probably because just thinking positively about your future without taking necessary action does not work at all. While having high hopes is important for motivation, an over-reliance on positive expectations can set you up for disappointment when reality inevitably presents challenges.

Consider a situation where you were excited about a new venture—perhaps starting a business or setting up a new fitness goal. Would you anticipate only success, ignoring the potential hurdles?

Blind optimism leaves you unprepared for the difficulties ahead, which may then come to you as unfair shocks. People who exhibit a strong positivity bias are more likely to overestimate positive outcomes and underestimate risks, leaving them vulnerable to emotional distress when things don't go as planned.

A 2022 study explores the idea that while staying positive and optimistic is often seen as a good thing, constantly maintaining this attitude can actually become harmful. Generalizing positivity in all situations can lead to denying or downplaying real emotions or even logical counterarguments to a superficially optimistic perception.

3. Remembering The Good, Forgetting The Lessons

Another way positivity bias shows up is in how we remember past experiences. Do you find yourself focusing mainly on the good times, while brushing aside any unpleasant or negative memories? This selective recall might make you feel happier in the short term, it can prevent you from learning valuable lessons from your experiences.

Imagine reflecting on a relationship, job or personal achievement where things didn't go as planned. Without processing those difficult moments, you're likely to repeat the same mistakes. Our minds selectively recall positive experiences, often distorting the full picture and hindering emotional growth.

While it's tempting to cling to happy memories, it's equally important to face the more challenging ones. Growth comes from acknowledging both sides of our experiences, not just the pleasant ones.

While positivity bias can be a powerful psychological tool, helping us stay motivated and resilient, it can lead to distorted views of reality, unrealistic expectations and a failure to learn from past mistakes, when left unchecked. Focusing exclusively on the positive can hinder emotional development, leading to shallow coping mechanisms and unrealistic outlooks on life.

True emotional health comes from balance—seeing life as it is, not just as we wish it to be. So, the next time you're tempted to force optimism, consider embracing the full spectrum of your experiences. Know that humans are vulnerable and there's no shame in addressing those vulnerabilities with a positive mindset rather than enveloping it with superficially positive beliefs. Grounded, realistic positivity is far more powerful than blind optimism.

Is your optimism realistic or delusional? Take the science-backed Realistic Optimism Scale to know more.

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.