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Relationship Control Scale

The best relationships are those where both partners feel they can guide the relationship to a desired end state. Things get trickier when one or both partners feel a loss of control.

Mark Travers, Ph.D.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D.

April 30, 2025

Mark Travers, Ph.D., is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, responsible for new client intake and placement. Mark received his B.A. in psychology, magna cum laude, from Cornell University and his M.A. and Ph.D. from the University of Colorado Boulder. His academic research has been published in leading psychology journals and has been featured in The New York Times and The New Yorker, among other popular publications. He is a regular contributor for Forbes and Psychology Today, where he writes about psycho-educational topics such as happiness, relationships, personality, and life meaning. Click here to schedule an initial consultation with Mark or another member of the Awake Therapy team. Or, you can drop him a note here.

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Navigating the complexities of a romantic relationship requires that each partner feels empowered to guide the trajectory of their shared journey. However, this equilibrium can be disrupted when one partner's sense of control begins to wane, introducing challenges that impact the overall health of the relationship.

Recognizing the significance of control dynamics in relationships, psychologists have developed various tools to assess an individual's perception of control within their partnership. Here is one such tool.

You can take this test here. Follow all of the steps to receive your results.

References: Miller‚ P. C.‚ Lefcourt‚ H. M.‚ & Ware‚ W. E. (1983). The construction and development of the Miller Marital Locus of Control scale. Canadian Journal of Behavioral Science‚ 15‚ 266—279.

Step 1: Rate the following statements based on how much you agree with them on a scale of strongly disagree to strongly agree.

1. Difficulties with my partner often start with chance remarks.

2. I find that external circumstances like day-to-day events have a considerable influence on how my partner and I get along.

3. At times‚ there just doesn’t seem to be any way out of a disagreement with my partner.

4. It’s often up to my partner to make an argument end peaceably.

5. My partner’s moods are often mysterious to me in that I have little idea as to what might have set them off.

6. I am often at a loss as to what to say or do when I’m in a disagreement with my partner.

7. I often find my partner’s behavior to be unpredictable.

8. Circumstances of one sort or another play a major role in determining whether my relationship functions smoothly.

0 of 0 questions answered

Step 2: Enter your age, gender, region, and first name so we can provide you with a detailed report that compares your test scores with people similar to you.

What is your age?

What is your gender?

What region of the world do you live in?

What is your first name?

Step 3: Check to make sure you've provided answers to all of the statements/questions above. Once you've done that, click the button below to send your responses to Awake Therapy's Lead Psychologist, Mark Travers, Ph.D. He will provide you with an overview of how you scored relative to others (all answers are anonymized and confidential to protect users' privacy). He can also answer any follow-up questions you may have.