Relationship Control Scale

The best relationships are those where both partners feel they can guide the relationship to a desired end state. Things get trickier when one or both partners feel a loss of control.

By Jourdan Travers, LCSW | October 31, 2023

Navigating the complexities of a romantic relationship requires that each partner feels empowered to guide the trajectory of their shared journey. However, this equilibrium can be disrupted when one partner’s sense of control begins to wane, introducing challenges that impact the overall health of the relationship.

Recognizing the significance of control dynamics in relationships, psychologists have developed various tools to assess an individual's perception of control within their partnership. Here is one such tool.

You can take this test here. Follow all of the steps to receive your results.

Step 1: For each of the statements below, indicate how much you agree with the following statement on a scale of 1 (Strongly Disagree) to 5 (Strongly Agree).

1. Difficulties with my partner often start with chance remarks.

2. I find that external circumstances like day-to-day events have a considerable influence on how my partner and I get along.

3. At times‚ there just doesn’t seem to be any way out of a disagreement with my partner.

4. It’s often up to my partner to make an argument end peaceably.

5. My partner’s moods are often mysterious to me in that I have little idea as to what might have set them off.

6. I am often at a loss as to what to say or do when I’m in a disagreement with my partner.

7. I often find my partner’s behavior to be unpredictable.

8. Circumstances of one sort or another play a major role in determining whether my relationship functions smoothly.

Step 2: Enter your age, gender, and region so we can provide you with a detailed report that compares your test scores to people similar to you.

What is your age?

What is your gender?

What region of the world do you live in?

Step 3: Check to make sure you've provided answers to all of the statements/questions above. Once you've done that, click the button below to send your responses to Awake Therapy's Clinical Director, Jourdan Travers, LCSW. She will provide you with an overview of how you scored relative to others (all answers are anonymized and confidential to protect users' privacy). She can also answer any follow-up questions you may have.

References: Miller‚ P. C.‚ Lefcourt‚ H. M.‚ & Ware‚ W. E. (1983). The construction and development of the Miller Marital Locus of Control scale. Canadian Journal of Behavioral Science‚ 15‚ 266—279.