2 Signs That You And Your Partner Are True 'Lovebirds'

Are you in a 'lovebird relationship'? If you and your partner share these two traits, then you might be.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | November 11, 2024

When we think of "lovebirds," we often picture couples who are deeply in love and effortlessly in sync, sharing tender moments and a warm bond that is almost palpable. However, behind these moments lie a set of relationship behaviors and habits that set them apart from those that are simply long-lasting.

"Lovebird relationships" are warm, passionate, affectionate, mutually supportive and deeply satisfying. While some couples stay together to avoid the discomfort of breaking up, lovebirds thrive on a positive, active approach to nurturing their connection.

The difference is profound: instead of growing numb or passive, lovebird partners cultivate "relationship flourishing"—a quality that makes life as a couple feel truly fulfilling.

If you're wondering whether your relationship is one of these flourishing partnerships, a new study published this August in Behavioral Sciences points to two defining signs of lovebird relationships that make them highly satisfying.

Here are the two signs of a lovebird connection, according to the study.

1. Showing Mutual Care And Support

In a lovebird relationship, mutuality is the backbone. This means that both partners feel equally committed to nurturing the relationship. This mutual investment goes beyond just spending time together. It involves a genuine, ongoing effort to understand each other's needs, aspirations and boundaries. Both partners recognize the importance of giving and receiving support equally, allowing each to flourish individually and together.

This involves an unspoken balance where each partner respects and values the other's voice and is responsive and validating of their thoughts and feelings. Both partners show genuine enthusiasm for each other's successes and provide encouragement during challenging times.

Mutuality also creates an open, trusting space where each partner can be their authentic self. Imagine a couple where one partner wants to go back to school while the other supports them, even though it may mean fewer evenings together or shared responsibilities for a while. In a lovebird relationship, this support is freely given, not grudgingly, because each partner truly values the other's happiness and personal growth.

2. Savoring Your Love

Lovebirds also share a unique appreciation for romance and savoring the present moment together. While many relationships include romance, a lovebird relationship takes it a step further by prioritizing shared experiences and moments of closeness.

Lovebird couples tend to notice and appreciate the little details that make their partner special, creating an atmosphere of ongoing romance that isn't confined to special occasions. This means they pay attention to, reflect on and relish their time together, keeping the romantic spark alive through small but meaningful gestures.

For instance, lovebirds often savor small acts of affection, be it a lingering hug before leaving for work, going on a morning walk together, setting aside time to talk without distractions, reminiscing about a funny memory or even just sending a thoughtful message in the middle of a busy workday.

Savoring such moments together fosters feelings of gratitude and satisfaction, creating positive memories that serve as a foundation of joy within the relationship. This mindful attention to each other strengthens their bond, reminding both partners why they cherish each other. This makes the relationship feel dynamic and exciting even as years go by.

Additionally, physical intimacy, which includes both sexual intimacy and simple acts of affection like holding hands or hugging, is a key component of romance in lovebird relationships. This affection contributes not only to feelings of love and passion but also to emotional security within the relationship.

Researchers also created the "lovebird scale" to capture the themes mentioned above. It originally consists of 26 statements that one must rate their level of agreement with on a scale of 1 (strongly disagree) to 7 (strongly agree).

Here's a shorter version of the scale that reflects the mutuality and romance of lovebird connections.

1. I trust my partner completely and I can tell my partner anything.
2. When I hear certain songs, I think of how much I love my partner.
3. My partner never intentionally insults me, puts me down or makes me feel bad.
4. Our sex life is deeply satisfying.
5. We are very kind to each other.
6. Sometimes when I'm alone I find myself thinking about how much I love my partner.
7. My partner accepts every part of me, even the things I dislike about myself.
8. The more time we spend together the more I enjoy my partner's company.
9. My partner and I respect each other's opinions, even when we don't agree with each other.
10. I find my partner extremely physically attractive.
11. My partner and I fit well together.
12. I often find myself thinking about special things I can do to make my partner happy.
13. I support my partner in their goals and aspirations, and they do the same for me.
14. Touching is natural and fundamental to our relationship.
15. I can talk to my partner about anything, even if it is a difficult conversation.
16. We are each other's best friend.
17. I don't have to sacrifice aspects of myself to keep my partner happy.
18. My partner and I go through life savoring moments together.

If you agree with most of these statements, it is highly likely you're in a deeply loving, fulfilling and long-lasting relationship. Of course, lovebird relationships don't just happen. Such partners prioritize their bond, work through challenges together and continuously invest in maintaining romance and appreciation for each other.

For those looking to cultivate a lovebird relationship, focusing on mutuality and romance can be a transformative start. Mutuality requires us to listen and grow with our partners, honoring their perspectives and needs alongside our own. Romance, on the other hand, thrives when we make an effort to savor the relationship's best moments, finding joy in our partner's presence and keeping the flame of intimacy alive.

The magic of lovebird relationships is that partners don't take each other for granted; they actively choose each other every day. So, the next time you find yourself sharing a laugh or holding hands with your partner, take a moment to savor it. It's these little moments of appreciation that make all the difference.

To gain deeper insight into whether you're in a lovebird relationship, take this test to receive science-backed answers: The Lovebird Scale

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here, and on PsychologyToday.com, here.