3 Ways To Cope With The Awful Feeling Of 'Touch Starvation'

Sometimes, our skin can hunger for physical touch. Here's how to cope if you're feeling 'touch-starved.'

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | March 01, 2024

Touch starvation, also known as touch deprivation or "skin hunger," refers to experiencing a chronic lack of physical touch or affectionate contact from others. This can manifest as a longing for tactile sensations, including hugs, cuddles, hand-holding or other forms of physical intimacy.

While occasional periods without touch may not have significant effects, prolonged touch deprivation can lead to a range of psychological and emotional challenges. For instance, a 2021 study found that a lack of physical touch from an intimate partner is associated with higher levels of anxiety and loneliness. Being touch-starved can also lead to mood swings, feelings of irritability, sadness or depression.

A 2020 study found that even a small amount of touch has transformative effects on a person, reducing their perceptions of loneliness and neglect in close relationships and enhancing their physiological well being. These effects are particularly salient among single individuals compared to married couples, who may experience lower levels of loneliness together.

Human beings seem to have an innate need for touch, which begins from infancy and continues throughout one's life. Touch plays a vital role in human development, emotional regulation, stress alleviation, strengthening relationships and overall well-being, making it essential to address the effects of touch deprivation.

Here are three coping strategies for the "touch-starved," according to research.

1. Be Affectionate With Yourself

Self-touch is a highly underrated way to mitigate the effects of touch deprivation. A 2021 study found that self-soothing touches can reduce stress by lowering the body's physiological stress response, just as receiving affection from others would.

When we are touch-starved, practicing self-touch can serve as a powerful tool for soothing and comforting ourselves. This can include gentle actions such as placing a hand on your heart or giving yourself a calming hug.

It is also essential to practice self-compassion by being psychologically gentle and loving with yourself. This can involve committing to self-care practices and challenging self-critical thoughts about not being worthy of affection.

Treating yourself with kindness and understanding, especially during moments of loneliness or distress and validating your own emotions without judgment can help develop a sense of inner security and resilience against the negative effects of touch deprivation.

2. Seek Out Opportunities For Social Connection

Coping with touch deprivation also involves actively embracing physical intimacy. It is important to ask for and allow yourself to receive affection from others when you need it. If your friends and family consent to it, you can show and receive affection from them. If you crave romantic affection, it is important to let your partner know what you need or open yourself up to exploring intimate connections as a single person.

Additionally, while virtual interactions may not replicate the sensation of physical touch, they can provide emotional support and a sense of meaningful connection with loved ones, mitigating some of the challenges of touch starvation. This can involve getting on video calls or joining online support groups whenin-person opportunities are limited. These interactions allow individuals to express themselves, share personal experiences, alleviate feelings of loneliness and create bonds that transcend physical distance.

3. Explore Alternative Forms Of Touch

Exploring alternative forms of touch can provide some relief from touch deprivation. Here are some touch-based activities to try:

• Pet therapy. Spending time with animals can provide comforting touch and emotional support. Consider adopting a pet or volunteering at a local animal shelter to experience the therapeutic benefits of pet therapy and touch-based interaction.
• Tactile objects. Discover new ways to experience touch through everyday objects, such as by squeezing stress balls or using soft or weighted blankets. Practice mindful touch by focusing on sensations such as how your head feels on a pillow, how soft a flower petal feels under your fingertips, how it feels to physically work with fresh ingredients to make yourself a nourishing meal or to hug stuffed toys and pillows.
• Therapeutic touch. Explore services such as massage therapy and nail or hair spas, which not only offer physical benefits but also provide opportunities for nurturing touch and relaxation.

It's important to remember that everyone's experiences and needs are unique, so exploring different strategies and finding what works best for you is key. Additionally, it's essential to prioritize safety, respect boundaries and establish consent when seeking out opportunities for touch. Seeking support from a mental health professional can also provide personalized guidance and support in navigating touch deprivation and its associated challenges.

Feeling touch-starved can exacerbate loneliness in romantic relationships. Take this test to find out how this may be affecting you: Loneliness In Intimate Relationships Scale

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.