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The Hidden Habit That Quietly Blocks Your Happiness

Mark Travers, Ph.D.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D.

September 3, 2025

Mark Travers, Ph.D., is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, responsible for new client intake and placement. Mark received his B.A. in psychology, magna cum laude, from Cornell University and his M.A. and Ph.D. from the University of Colorado Boulder. His academic research has been published in leading psychology journals and has been featured in The New York Times and The New Yorker, among other popular publications. He is a regular contributor for Forbes and Psychology Today, where he writes about psycho-educational topics such as happiness, relationships, personality, and life meaning. Click here to schedule an initial consultation with Mark or another member of the Awake Therapy team. Or, you can drop him a note here.

Constant suspicion and hyper-vigilance may quietly sap your happiness. Here’s how building trust can change that.

Happiness is something most of us long for, and many see it as life’s ultimate goal. You might chase it in achievements, relationships or the little pleasures of everyday life. Over the years, countless studies have tried to understand what really drives happiness.

Across cultures and generations, people want to strive to find it and build the ability to sustain it. Despite this universal pursuit, happiness remains surprisingly elusive. This is because part of the challenge lies in the way you chase it. This very chase can sometimes be so intense that the very act of seeking happiness can leave you feeling less fulfilled.

As researcher Kuan-Ju Huang of Kyoto University explained to me in a recent interview, “The paradox of valuing happiness is that constantly checking in with ourselves by asking, ‘Am I happy enough?’ can lead to emotional outcomes that directly undermine the goal of being happy.”

In other words, this highlights that the harder you try to measure your happiness, the easier it becomes to feel like you’re falling short.

One way out of this trap is to shift your focus. Instead of being hyper-focused on constant self-evaluation, shift your focus toward connection. When you connect with others, you’re not so stuck in your own head. You’re reminded of the sense of support and belonging you have in your life.

However, stepping into this sort of openness requires an act of trust — in others, in yourself and even in the flow of life itself.

When you become a more trusting individual, it eases the pressure to control and measure every moment of happiness. Trust, in this way, helps you anchor well-being in bonds with others, creating a form of happiness that is not only more sustainable but also less fragile.

Rather than questioning if you’re “happy enough,” you can relax into shared experiences, knowing that joy can emerge naturally in connection. Trust creates a sense of safety, which allows positive emotions to flow more freely and deeply.

In a 2025 study published in Psychological Bulletin, researchers set out to explore the link between trust and happiness in a much deeper way.

They conducted a large-scale meta-analysis, pulling from studies that included over 2.5 million participants in total.

Instead of looking at just one group or one moment in time, they examined trust across different ages, cultures and types of trust, which included trust in people, relationships or institutions.

Different aspects of well-being, from life satisfaction to emotional health, were also taken into consideration and these patterns were tracked over time.

The findings revealed that it’s not just a one-way link. Trust and happiness create a reinforcing loop. Here are two primary ways this happens.

1. Trust Lightens The ‘Mental Load’

When you’re in a state of constantly questioning whether people or systems around you will let you down, it can take a toll on you. This can be heavy because it creates a kind of background noise that weighs on your well-being.

Trust, therefore, plays a crucial role. It reduces this burden of doubt. When you can trust, you’re not constantly living in suspicion. which creates space for joy.

Findings from the 2025 meta-analysis showed a consistent positive link between trust and subjective well-being. Participants who reported higher levels of trust, whether toward individuals, communities or institutions, also reported greater happiness and life satisfaction.

What’s interesting is that this association held true across different cultures, ages and types of trust, suggesting that trust isn’t just a cultural preference but a universal building block of well-being.

This suggests that cultivating trust is about more than just being optimistic. Trusting more reduces unnecessary vigilance and opens you up to deeper relationships, which naturally enhance happiness.

Know that being more trusting does not mean you are being naïve or blindly hopeful. You’re simply letting go of the energy you would otherwise spend second-guessing, preparing for the worst or keeping your guard up. You can channelize more of your energy into being present and actually noticing the good around you.

Another way trust opens you up to more joy is by loosening the grip of the mind’s tendency to anticipate the negative. When you’re not always expecting things to go wrong, you become more open to seeing when things do go right. Or, your attention shifts to how to make it right. This shift can bring about a great difference in your life and open you up to more happiness.

2. Happiness Creates More Space For Trust

When you experience greater well-being, it changes the way you relate to the world.

This is because moments of happiness have the power to make you more open and willing to give others the benefit of the doubt. Essentially, positive emotional states can create the conditions where trust feels more natural.

In the 2025 study, researchers found that well-being itself predicts higher levels of trust. People who reported being happier were also more likely to extend trust toward individuals, communities and institutions. This means happiness and trust, instead of working in isolation, actually feed into one another. Together, they create a cycle that sustains both well-being and connection.

A 2024 study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies also confirmed that people who are more trusting also tend to report higher well-being. Researchers also found that social well-being, which means feeling connected and feeling like you belong, showed the strongest link with trust.

Trust is something that’s lived out in relationships and communities, so it’s not entirely surprising that its strongest impact is reflected in the social side of well-being.

Put together, findings from both studies highlight that happiness and trust each provide the conditions for the other to flourish. Feeling good makes you open up more; opening up builds stronger bonds and stronger bonds feed back into feeling good again.

Move From Caution To Connection

Having discovered the importance of trust, it’s equally important to acknowledge that trust and openness don’t always come easy for many people. Various factors, including past experiences, disappointments or relational trauma can make it hard to let down your guard.

A lack of trust can make you overly cautious, hesitant to rely on others or expect the worst even when there’s no real threat. You may be focused on guarding against imagined threats rather than engaging authentically with the people around you.

For instance, someone who experienced betrayal in the past might constantly double-check messages from friends or feel anxious when offered help, even if there’s no reason to distrust them.

Additionally, suppressing your pain only makes it harder to fully open up. This is why it’s important to process and heal these wounded parts of yourself. Remember to not dwell in self-blame as you do so.

Working on your past experiences and the ways they influence your present is about gently noticing patterns and understanding how they show up in your life. Once you acknowledge and recognize those patterns, you can begin taking intentional steps to respond differently.

This process may not always seem easy, but it can help to seek professional guidance to navigate through it.

By processing the past experiences that shaped you and healing parts of you that made you less trusting, you reduce automatic caution or suspicion. It’s absolutely possible to open up with time and practice, and to find joy in that vulnerability, should you seek it.

Wondering how happy you really are? Take the science-backed WHO-5 Well-Being Index to find out.

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.