A Dating Coach Gives Men 3 Tips To Instantly Improve Their Online Dating Profiles
A little bit of attention and care towards your dating profile can go a long way.
By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | December 11, 2022
The online dating scene is no cakewalk, especially for men. Lopsided sex ratios, a saturated marketplace, and an abundance of options have made it difficult to find the right person online – all but defeating the purpose of dating apps in the first place.
But, according to dating coach Blaine Anderson, the trick is in making dating apps work for you, not the other way around.
"As much as dating can feel highly personal and unique, it's still a skill. And like with any other skill (e.g. playing tennis, or speaking Spanish), once you understand the organizing principles and practice, you will see quick and meaningful improvements," says Anderson.
As someone whose occupation is to help men understand and master each step in the dating process, Anderson advises men who struggle with online dating to not let the empty inbox or lack of matches get to them. When it comes to getting the right swipes, the problem is most likely not with your personality or your appearance, it is with your profile.
"The biggest and most common mistake men make with their online dating profiles boils down to not being deliberate about what they share," she says. "You get just six photos and 3-6 sentences of written text to communicate who you are. That's not a lot of canvas, and the competition is fierce, so each photo and word matters if you want to meet an awesome partner online."
For anyone who is just starting out with online dating apps, or who has been on them for a while but still struggles, Anderson has three pieces of advice that everyone can follow to put their best foot forward:
- Invest in high-quality pictures. Dating-app-ready photos that are high quality and show off your best features are an asset you should definitely invest in. What you look like is the first thing women want to know when they visit your profile. If your pictures are low quality and low effort, they won't translate into matches. To be clear, you do not have to be exceptionally good-looking to get clear, exceptional-quality pictures.
- Market yourself well. Anderson advises against mindlessly following the app's prompts when writing your bio or prompt responses. Instead one should think carefully about what you want a potential partner to know about you — things about yourself that you think are unique, special, make you fun to be around, etc. — and answer accordingly.
- Don't let it get to you. At the end of the day, a dating app is just a platform to meet new people, it does not decide your value or attractiveness unless you let it. Not finding a partner online does not mean you are 'undateable,' it simply means you may need to explore a different direction: a new app, revising your profile, or getting help from a professional. Don't give up but also don't spin your wheels endlessly. Reassess and try again.
Anderson concludes with a single nugget applicable to any guy who might be feeling defeated in the dating game, online or offline:
"If I could give just one piece of advice to guys who are single and struggling, it would be to remember that nothing matters more for dating than what it feels like to spend time with you, and this is 100% in your control."
A full interview with dating coach Blaine Anderson discussing her professional wisdom on dating can be found here: A dating coach explains how men can create authentic yet attractive dating profiles