4 Situations Where You Should Never Be Afraid To Ask For Help

Never think that asking for emotional support makes you a burden. In reality, you're extending the kindness that you unconditionally give to others to yourself.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | November 06, 2024

We often go through life tackling challenges and emotions on our own, thinking we can or should handle everything ourselves. But in our pursuit of independence or the desire to appear strong, we sometimes overlook the moments when reaching out for emotional support could have strengthened our relationships and eased our sense of isolation. If you've ever found yourself reflecting, "I should've told someone," you're not alone.

Many of us are conditioned to believe that vulnerability is a weakness, or that we should manage our emotions solo. This mindset can lead to missed opportunities for connection—moments that could have made us feel more understood and supported.

Here are four situations where you might have missed the chance to ask for support, and how those missed moments affect your well-being.

1. When You Felt Overwhelmed By Daily Stress

We often dismiss the stress that builds up over time. Whether it's work deadlines, family responsibilities or financial pressures, it's easy to think, "everyone deals with this—why should I complain?"

This mindset can prevent you from seeking help, thinking you need to carry the load by yourself. Additionally, according to a 2010 study published in Personality and Individual Differences, lower acceptance of emotions was associated with the highest levels of depression.

On the contrary, sharing your feelings, even about the seemingly mundane, opens up space for vulnerability and allows others to connect with you. Bottling up stress over time can lead to burnout or emotional numbness, distancing you from the people who care about you.

Acknowledging your stress and allowing yourself to express it gives someone close to you the opportunity to offer support—whether through advice, empathy, or just being present.

2. When You Were Grieving, But Tried To "Move On"

Grief isn't always about losing a loved one—it can arise from losing a job, a friendship, or even a part of your identity. Sometimes, we rush through grief, convincing ourselves that "life goes on" and avoiding the weight of sadness. Maybe you didn't want to seem too emotional, or perhaps you didn't want to burden others with your feelings. But grief is one of the most profound human experiences, and when we shut people out during these moments, we miss opportunities to heal together.

Asking for support during grief allows others to comfort you, and it creates a shared space of healing. A 2022 study found that help-seeking, despite being one of the least used strategies, was the only coping method that effectively buffered the negative impact of grief on quality of life, particularly for those experiencing severe grief.

Remember, people want to be there for you when you're hurting, even if you feel like you should be "strong." Sharing your pain can deepen your connections in meaningful ways.

3. When You Were Angry But Stayed Silent

Anger is often seen as a negative emotion, one that we should suppress or keep to ourselves. You may have felt angry about something important to you—a boundary being crossed, an injustice, or feeling unappreciated. But instead of expressing it, you stayed quiet, thinking it wasn't worth starting a conflict. However, this was a missed opportunity for you to voice your needs and to allow someone close to understand what was bothering you.

An article published by the American Psychological Association suggests that when you're angry, it's more effective to identify the sources of your anger and develop strategies to prevent these triggers from pushing you to the breaking point. Open communication can be a helpful tool to start this process.

Asking for support in moments of anger doesn't mean you have to lash out. Instead, it means inviting someone into your emotional world and saying, "I'm upset, and I need to talk about this." Opening up could have led to validation and a chance to work through the issue together, preventing frustration from building up.

4. When You Felt Insecure, But Pretended You Were Fine

We all have moments of self-doubt—whether about our appearance, abilities, or even our relationships. But how many times have you smiled through your insecurity, pretending to be confident while silently feeling inadequate? Perhaps you didn't ask for reassurance because you thought it would make you look needy or weak.

In reality, asking for support when you feel insecure is an act of trust. It allows others to affirm and encourage you, reinforcing the bond between you. A 2021 study published in the Japanese Psychological Research found that seeking reassurance reinforces emotional connections and increases relationship satisfaction in both short- and long-term relationships.

Vulnerability in moments of insecurity shows that you're willing to let someone see the real, unpolished version of yourself. This creates intimacy and allows others to feel like they can do the same with you, which strengthens your emotional connection.

How To Recognize And Ask For Support

If any of these moments resonate with you, consider how you can tune in to when you need emotional support. The next time you feel overwhelmed, grief-stricken, angry, or insecure, pause and ask yourself, "What would it feel like to share this with someone?" Recognize that emotional support isn't a luxury—it's essential for your mental well-being. Reaching out doesn't mean you're less capable or strong, instead, it means you're human.

Another gentle reminder: think of the people you trust and keep them in mind when you're struggling. Sometimes just having that list makes it easier to ask for support when the time comes. The next time you're tempted to push through on your own, let someone in instead. You'll be surprised by the strength, connection, and comfort that vulnerability can bring.

Asking for help is no easy feat, but comes more naturally to the emotionally aware. Take the Emotional Quotient Inventory to know where you stand.

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.