3 Traits Commonly Associated With Committing Infidelity

These three characteristics can push partners towards cheating more than any other. Here's why.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | February 17, 2025

Loyalty is one of the most fundamental aspects of a relationship. When someone cheats, it not only shatters trust but also causes feelings of hurt, betrayal and immense grief. Even the strongest relationships can fall apart under the weight of infidelity.

Cheating in any form—whether physical (sexual infidelity), emotional (deep romantic connections outside the relationship) or online (flirting or intimate exchanges over the internet)—can severely damage relationships.

Many couples struggle to recover from infidelity, and in many cases, it leads to separation or divorce. Even when such relationships persevere, they are often marked by unhappiness, insecurity and emotional distance.

So, why do some people cheat while others remain faithful? Here are three key psychological traits that can push people towards infidelity.

1. They Have Narcissistic Tendencies

Narcissistic individuals tend to be on a perpetual quest for admiration and validation. If they feel they are not receiving enough attention from their partner, they may seek it elsewhere to soothe their ego. This is because despite their outward confidence and entitlement, narcissists still heavily rely on external validation, and no matter how much their partner gives them, it may not feel like enough.

Research published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy shows that individuals displaying "sexual narcissism" tend to prefer traditional gender roles, struggle with low self-esteem and have egocentric attitudes towards sex, which significantly impacts their relationships and sexual behavior.

Such individuals have an inflated sense of self-importance, often prioritizing their own needs over their partner's. In relationships, sexual narcissists exhibit entitlement, low empathy and a sense of superiority, particularly in a sexual context. They manipulate others to fulfil their own desires, with little regard for their partner's emotions.

Additionally, people with high sexual narcissism often seek validation through sexual conquests, have difficulty handling criticism about their sexual performance and may manipulate or exploit partners to maintain their self-image.

Here are three insights into these actions:

• They use sex to boost their ego rather than to build intimacy.
• Their need for validation can lead to infidelity, as they seek reassurance from multiple partners.
• They tend to believe they are "good lovers" regardless of their partner's experience.

Such individuals inherently prioritize personal gratification over relationship commitments. Their selfish and impulsive tendencies drive them to seek instant pleasure, regardless of the consequences. Their lack of empathy also makes it easier for them to cheat without remorse.

2. They Cheat To Feel Better About Themselves

For some individuals, low self-esteem and insecurity may be the driving force to cheat, to seek external validation or feel desirable. Paradoxically, in trying to boost their self-worth through infidelity, they ultimately harm others—and often themselves.

To avoid feeling attacked and protect their self-image further, research published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin in 2019 shows that cheaters can be hypocritical, often minimizing their wrongdoing. They often do not take accountability due to social norms against infidelity. Consequently, perpetrators shift blame outwards, while some victims may unfortunately blame themselves.

Power and control also play a significant role in such relationships. Some individuals use cheating as a way to feel more dominant or superior to compensate for their lack of self-esteem.

Their psychological need for control leads them to manipulate and betray, disregarding the emotional pain they cause. An inability to recognize the damage they inflict can make their actions even more harmful.

3. They Fear Vulnerability And Emotional Intimacy

Some people struggle with being emotionally available and intimate with their partners. For some, cheating is a way to avoid emotional closeness. They fear being vulnerable and may sabotage their own relationships by seeking external connections that require little emotional intimacy.

A 2012 study published in The American Journal of Family Therapy confirms that infidelity can be a tool for avoidance, allowing individuals with insecure attachment styles to escape the emotional responsibilities that come with a committed relationship.

Their anxiety and fear of rejection leads them to seek validation and approval from others outside of their primary relationship, especially during times of conflict or perceived neglect.

When they cheat, they often form external connections that demand little to no emotional investment. These brief encounters provide a temporary sense of control or detachment, allowing them to maintain a surface-level connection while avoiding the deeper emotional work required for a healthy, intimate partnership.

This behavior may seem like a solution to their fears, but it ultimately sabotages their ability to form meaningful, sustainable relationships. By seeking out external connections that don't challenge their emotional walls, they avoid confronting their own vulnerabilities, fears of rejection or past wounds that may be driving their behavior.

These complex psychological and emotional factors drive destructive behaviors that not only damage relationships but also prevent personal growth. Understanding these behaviors is crucial for fostering healthier relationships.

Recognizing the warning signs of unhealthy manifestations of fear and insecurity in relationships can help individuals make informed decisions about their relationships.

While these traits may increase the likelihood of cheating, they do not define a person's ability to change. Self-awareness, open communication and professional support can help individuals break free from destructive cycles and build healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Ultimately, commitment isn't just about resisting temptation—it's about actively nurturing emotional intimacy, trust and mutual respect.

Curious whether you'd ever be drawn to being unfaithful? Take this science-backed test to learn more: Propensity Towards Infidelity Scale

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.