3 Signs That You're Facing 'Trust Issues' In Your Relationship

Do you struggle to trust your partner, no matter how trustworthy they actually are? Here's three reasons why this might be happening.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | March 17, 2025

Trust is the foundation of a strong, healthy relationship. It allows us to feel safe, secure and emotionally connected to our partners. However, when trust is fragile, it can lead to patterns of self-protection that may create distance instead of closeness.

In a 2024 study published in Annual Review of Psychology, researchers suggest that humans have a fundamental need to feel safe in relationships. Yet, ironically, in trying to protect ourselves, we miss out on the experiencing trust and safety we seek. In such cases, individuals may misinterpret "safety cues" from their partners, due to their instinctive distrust.

"People whose personalities dispose them to be less trusting of their romantic partner, or of others in general, pay more attention to cues to decreased safety. Indeed, relative to highly trusting people, less trusting people are more likely to overperceive threats to safety and are quicker to self-protect," the researchers explain.

If you find yourself struggling to trust your partner, you might unknowingly be engaging in behaviors that keep you from fully experiencing the security and intimacy of a loving relationship.

Here are three key signs that you might be struggling with trust in relationships, according to the study.

1. You Distance Yourself From Your Partner

Researchers suggest that one of the most common ways people respond to trust issues is by pulling away from their partner. When you perceive signs that your partner might not be fully supportive or reliable—whether through moments of indifference, criticism or inconsistency—you might instinctively create space between you to protect yourself, both physically and emotionally.

The possibility of being hurt, rejected or abandoned can create a sense of anxiety and uncertainty in the relationship, which causes you to avoid becoming more deeply attached or invested.

For instance, instead of turning to your partner for support during a difficult time, you might confide in a friend or distract yourself with work, hobbies or even parasocial relationships (such as following celebrity stories or immersing yourself in fictional worlds).

"Even experiences of feeling rejected, excluded or devalued outside of their romantic relationships can make people feel unsafe and thus motivate them to self-protect inside romantic relationships," the researchers add.

This can provide a sense of emotional safety, but over time, it can also prevent deeper intimacy from developing. The more you withdraw, the less opportunity your partner has to show up for you in meaningful ways, reinforcing your belief that they are not dependable.

If you recognize this pattern, consider whether there are moments when your partner does show support. Trust isn't built overnight, but allowing yourself to be vulnerable in small ways—such as sharing your feelings or asking for comfort—can be a powerful first step toward rebuilding emotional closeness.

2. You Try To Control The Relationship Dynamic

Researchers suggest that we tend to feel less safe in relationships when we believe that our partner holds more power in the relationship than we do. We may try to balance the scales by pulling away from them, or, on the other end of the spectrum, prioritize their goals and needs at the expense of our own to promote a sense of closeness rather than powerlessness.

Additionally, when trust is low, people sometimes try to create security by increasing their partner's dependence on them. This can manifest in subtle ways, such as discouraging them from spending time with others, making them feel guilty for prioritizing their own needs or even emphasizing how difficult it would be for them to find another partner.

This strategy is rooted in fear—the fear that, if your partner has other sources of emotional support or validation, they might be less committed to you. However, trust doesn't come from control; it comes from feeling valued and secure regardless of external factors.

If you notice yourself engaging in behaviors that limit your partner's independence, it may help to reflect on what underlying fears are driving these actions. Rebuilding trust starts with acknowledging these fears and finding healthier ways to create connection—such as open communication and mutual appreciation.

3. You Interpret Ambiguous Cues As Signs Of Betrayal

Researchers found that trust issues can make you hyper-aware of potential threats to your relationship, leading you to interpret even neutral or ambiguous actions in a negative light. For example, if your partner is in a bad mood or distracted, you might assume they are upset with you or pulling away, even if their behavior has nothing to do with you.

Similarly, if they hesitate before making a sacrifice for you, you might view it as proof that they don't care enough, rather than considering external factors like stress or fatigue. This heightened sensitivity can create a cycle of insecurity. The more you assume the worst, the more defensive or distant you become, which can make your partner feel like they're constantly walking on eggshells.

"People who are less trusting of their romantic partner are more likely to take their partner's seemingly rejecting, critical or nonresponsive behavior at face value than people who are more trusting," the researchers explain.

"Questioning their own self-worth, people low in self-esteem fail to appreciate how much their romantic partners actually value them," the researchers add, highlighting how trust issues and cognitive biases can significantly distort perceptions of love and commitment.

Instead of jumping to conclusions, try asking yourself: "Is there another explanation for their behavior?" Practicing self-soothing techniques and directly communicating your concerns can help prevent misunderstandings and build a stronger sense of trust.

How To Cultivate Deeper Trust In Relationships

Becoming more trusting isn't just about having a partner who reassures you—it's also about doing your part to open up, challenging your assumptions and allowing yourself to experience safety. Even if your partner is loving and dependable, trust requires vulnerability.

That means recognizing when self-protective behaviors are keeping you from deeper intimacy and actively working to let your partner in. It involves being aware of how past experiences may shape your fears and consciously questioning whether those fears reflect the present reality of your relationship.

Trust grows through small moments—choosing to share a personal thought, asking for support or giving your partner the benefit of the doubt. Over time, these moments build on one another, creating a foundation of security that feels both earned and mutual.

No relationship is entirely without risk, but the strongest ones are not built on control or hyper-vigilance, but on the willingness to be seen, accepted and loved—even when it feels scary.

Are you able to rest easy in your current relationship or do you struggle to feel secure in it? Take this science-backed test to learn more: Relationship Satisfaction Scale

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.