Why Some 'Bad Habits' Can Secretly Help You Grow

Perfectionism tells you to cut out every flaw. Science says some of those flaws are secretly your strengths in disguise.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | December 10, 2025

Most people assume their "bad habits" reveal something unflattering about them: a lack of discipline, social maturity or emotional strength. Typically, they're viewed as evidence that someone isn't trying hard enough to be their best self.

However, many of the behaviors we label as flaws turn out to be adaptive strategies that help people connect, regulate and problem-solve when used in moderation. The mismatch between cultural stigma and scientific reality is often wider than we think.

Below are three of these behaviors. Each carries an unmistakably negative reputation, yet research suggests that, under the right circumstances, they support healthier relationships, sharper thinking and stronger emotional well-being.

Of course, none of this means people should double down on every indulgence. That said, it might be a good idea to consider that human behavior often contains layers of intelligence we fail to notice. Sometimes the habits we judge most harshly are the ones quietly helping us survive our days.

Habit 1: Good Gossip

Gossip is one of those words that immediately conjures images of whispered betrayals and unnecessary drama. But psychologists define the phenomenon far more neutrally: gossip is simply the exchange of evaluative information about someone who isn't present. And when we strip away the moral weight of gossip, surprisingly adaptive research insights start to emerge.

For instance, a 2021 study published in Current Biology suggests that gossip plays a critical role in "vicarious learning." When people talk about others' behavior — like who cooperated, who cheated, who handled a social situation well — they're doing more than passing time.

Whether they know it or not, they're transmitting social norms and helping one another make sense of their relational world. The authors also highlight that gossip allows people to coordinate their understanding of what's acceptable, who's trustworthy and how to navigate complex group dynamics. In other words, gossip functions almost like a social guidance system, yet it disguises itself as casual conversation.

Gossip, according to the study, strengthens group cohesion. When individuals share their interpretations of social events, even minor ones, they're essentially saying: "You and I see the world in similar ways." That shared understanding becomes a bonding mechanism that aligns a people's perceptions and makes them feel more anchored within their communities. Several researchers have argued that this sense of alignment reduces anxiety by providing clarity in situations that might otherwise feel uncertain or ambiguous.

Additionally, talking about others (within limits) helps people feel validated and supported. If someone describes a confusing interaction and hears, "Yes, I noticed that too," or "You're not wrong to feel odd about that," it can have a calming, regulating effect. Humans aren't built to decode social information in isolation; gossip is one of the oldest ways we learned to co-construct meaning and protect our emotional equilibrium.

It's important to mention here that not all gossip is healthy. Malicious rumor-spreading and character attacks erode trust and create hostility. But the vast majority of everyday gossip is neither cruel nor destructive. When used with care, it's more like a form of social intelligence, and it's one of the many ways humans keep community life functioning smoothly.

Habit 2: Targeted Venting

Complaining is another behavior that tends to get flattened into a caricature. The chronic complainer, or the person who grumbles endlessly and refuses to take perspective, is a recognizable and ridiculed archetype. But the act of "targeted venting" serves an entirely different psychological purpose: emotional regulation.

Research on the social sharing of emotion sheds light on this distinction. In a 2014 study using neuroimaging techniques, the team of researchers found that people who shared negative experiences with a supportive partner showed increases in activity in brain regions associated with reward and relief. In simpler terms, this means talking about distressing events with someone who listens compassionately makes people feel better not because the situation changes, but because the emotional burden becomes lighter.

This type of disclosure also allows individuals to process their internal experiences more effectively. Naming emotions turns abstract discomfort into a concrete problem statement, which, in turn, makes the feelings more manageable. Moreover, the listener often adds perspective — sometimes a bit of normalization, sometimes a gentle challenge — that helps the speaker recalibrate their understanding of the situation.

Most importantly, social sharing also strengthens relationships. When someone expresses frustration, sadness or irritation, and their listener responds with warmth or validation, the emotional bond between them deepens. People feel more known, more understood and less alone with their stress.

But, as with gossip, the benefits come with caveats. Complaining only helps when it is situational, intentional and directed to someone who responds constructively. Chronic complaining or co-rumination can amplify distress if two people get stuck circling the same problem, with no movement toward clarity or acceptance. The line between healthy venting and emotional quicksand is real, but most everyday complaints fall on the healthier side. Humans are wired to express distress socially; doing so is often just a natural coping mechanism.

Habit 3: Active Procrastination

Procrastination is perhaps the most universally condemned habit on this list. It's often framed as the enemy of success and the lurking force behind missed deadlines and wasted potential. Although chronic, avoidant procrastination can indeed be harmful, recent research makes an important distinction. Specifically, they differentiate between passive procrastination, which stems from anxiety and avoidance, and active procrastination, a more strategic form of delay.

Psychologists Shin-Hsien Chu and Jin Nam Choi were among the first to articulate this distinction. Their research, followed by numerous validations, shows that active procrastinators deliberately postpone tasks because they believe they work better under pressure. They maintain control of their deadlines, feel relatively low stress and often produce strong results. Their behavior looks like procrastination from the outside, but, internally, it reflects confidence and purposeful timing.

A related body of research on incubation periods supports this idea. Studies in creativity science demonstrate that stepping away from a task to let the mind wander and turn attention elsewhere often leads to better solutions later. The unconscious mind, in the meantime, continues to work in the background, integrating information and forming new associations. What looks like delay is, in many cases, cognitive preparation.

Active procrastination can also prevent impulsive decision-making. When people force themselves to act too quickly, especially under uncertainty, they may choose prematurely or overlook important details. A brief pause can create space for reflection, especially if the person uses that time to gather information or mentally organize their approach.

Still, not all procrastination is adaptive. Passive procrastination, marked by avoidance, self-doubt and last-minute panic, has none of the protective qualities described above. The difference between helpful and harmful delay lies in control, intention and emotional stability. Strategic procrastination supports performance; avoidant procrastination undermines it.

Your Bad Habits Might Be Coping Tools In Disguise

The idea that gossiping, complaining or procrastinating could make someone healthier can feel counterintuitive, even slightly subversive. But science repeatedly reveals why certain "bad habits" evolved in the first place, and the reasons are usually quite logical. Humans are complex creatures navigating complex social worlds. Strategies that appear inefficient or imperfect on the surface often carry adaptive benefits beneath.

Of course, this doesn't mean people should embrace these habits without reflection. It simply means the instinct to self-criticize may be misplaced. Many of the behaviors we chastise ourselves for are serving a purpose — helping us bond, regulate, think and cope in ways we don't always recognize. At the end of the day, there is value in cutting ourselves a little more slack to see how we're really trying to show up for ourselves.

Is your procrastination habit more bad than good? Take this science-backed test to find out: General Procrastination Scale

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.