The Link Between 'Serial Sperm Donation' And Narcissism
We can learn a lot about narcissism through 'The Man With 1000 Kids.' Here's why you should add it to your watch-list.
By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | September 30, 2024
If you're looking for your next thrilling watch, Netflix's hit docuseries The Man with 1000 Kids might be worth checking out. The hit show spent two weeks in the streaming site's top 10, leaving people everywhere amazed — and for good reason.
The show follows multiple sets of parents around the world who all have one thing in common — they all used Dutchman Jonathan Jacob Meijer as their sperm donor when conceiving their children. You might be wondering why so many people wanted one man to father their children.
Meijer is what people might call an "objectively good-looking man." With a broad smile and thick locks of golden hair, he seemed like he would produce perfect children.
Besides his looks, however, there was a second, more sinister reason the hopeful parents picked Meijer. He told each parent they would be one of only 5 families to which he donated sperm. In reality, by the time the documentary had aired, Meijer had fathered, by his own admission, 550 kids.
The scary part is that he is not alone. The documentary shows that across the globe, a "tribe" of serial sperm donors has begun to bloom — men who want nothing more than to spread their genetic seed as far as possible. The question in everyone's mind is, what drives someone to father hundreds, even thousands of children?
What Creates A Serial Donor?
Even after the documentary aired, Meijer maintained that his only reason for creating these children was pure altruism. In his own words, he gave parents who were unable to conceive, the ultimate gift.
In many ways, he is not wrong. Sperm donation is a selfless act that helps thousands create the families they have always dreamed of. However, Meijer's use of deception to achieve his goal of fathering hundreds of children does raise questions.
The fact that he knew that most parents would refuse to accept sperm from a man who had fathered hundreds of other children suggests that he lied to further his ambitions. A recent Pew Research Center poll revealed that childless men were more likely to want kids one day than their female counterparts. The motivation behind this desire seems fueled by ego.
As cliche as it sounds, a 2012 study that interviewed 22 college educated Swedish men and women showed that more men than women expressed a desire to pass on their heredity, familial ties and belief or, in other words, their "legacy." It seems that in the case of serial sperm donors, this ideology takes on a perverse, almost narcissistic color. Do some men really take pride in spreading their likeness as far as humanly possible?
Why Serial Donors Play 'Creator'
In an alarming scene from the documentary, another known serial donor confesses in a message that he wants to "bleach Africa" by donating to as many African families as possible. The statement might sound like a fictitious supervillain origin story, but it happens to be the allure for some real-life serial donors. Imagine feeling like you have the power to shape the future of humanity — it could be considered the height of superiority.
A 2017 study on the God complex found that people with extreme narcissism often view relationships, including parental bonding, as an arena to bolster their self-image. It is not about other people or their needs and wants but how the relationship can serve them.
The documentary clarifies that while the parents are horrified about the implications of their children having 549 siblings, Meijer does not see an issue. He even goes as far as suggesting his children place a badge on their social media accounts in the future to avoid accidental incest.
In an unprecedented case, Meijer was one of the first men in the world to have his reproductive rights limited by a court. However, his children are still faced with the reality of having to genetically test potential partners in the future for fear that they could be half-siblings.
To be clear, sperm donation is, obviously, not an inherently evil or self-centered act. In fact, when done without ulterior motive, it can truly be the ultimate gift for a childless couple. While some donors genuinely want to help others create families, in the wrong hands even this altruistic act can be a weapon.
Do you or someone you know have narcissistic traits? Take this test to find out: Narcissism Scale
A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.