Science Offers 2 Reasons Why 'Sexual FOMO' Holds So Much Sway

Research says your fear of missing out may be driving your attitudes toward casual sexual encounters.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | January 19, 2024

A new study published in the journal Current Research in Behavioral Sciences found intriguing connections between fear of missing out, sexual competitiveness, social dynamics and mental well-being. Fear of missing out, or "FOMO," refers to feelings of anxiety or apprehension about missing out on exciting, interesting or enjoyable social events and experiences.

"Social events like trivia nights, going to the movies, dancing and attending parties help us to feel included, receive social and emotional support, expand our social circles and meet relationship partners," says lead author Adam C. Davis. "Failing to partake in these social activities could hamper our ability to survive and reproduce, which underscores how FOMO has likely been a facet of our evolutionary heritage."

Researchers suggest that heightened levels of FOMO can fuel the desire to avoid this anxiety and actively seek out social connection, including short-term sexual relationships.

Here are two primary reasons why FOMO drives casual sexual encounters, according to the study.

1. The Evolutionary Origins Of FOMO

Researchers found that individuals with higher levels of FOMO display a longing for higher social status, a sense of sexual competitiveness and a higher willingness to engage in multiple casual sexual encounters. These behaviors may stem from an evolutionary need to avoid social exclusion and quickly secure and even compete for social and reproductive resources, which have historically been indicators of higher social standing as well as a means of survival in social groups.

"Social, economic and romantic opportunities are not infinitely available. People need to compete (to some extent) for those valued social, economic and mating resources. We posit that FOMO helps to inform us of what is going on in the social, occupational and romantic lives of others as well as encourage us to compete for the resources that we desire," explains Davis.

Experiencing "sexual FOMO," then, results from a fear of missing out on sexual opportunities, fueling a preference for multiple casual sexual relationships, also known as unrestricted sociosexuality.

Researchers suggest that individuals experiencing heightened FOMO are more prone to engaging in sexual competition to seize opportunities and avoid feeling inferior by highlighting their own attractiveness or being derogatory towards perceived rivals.

Davis reminds us that such antagonistic or aggressive strategies usually decrease one's likability and invite social rejection and recommends forming social connections in more harmonious, respectful ways.

2. The Deceptive Allure Of Social Media

The advent of social media has sparked an evolutionary mismatch between mating opportunities one has versus what they think they need to have while comparing their lives to others online.

"Social inclusion is a fundamental human motive that is being triggered in an unhealthy way by technological advancements in contemporary society," says Davis.

A 2019 study found that experiencing boredom and FOMO are linked to problematic smartphone use as well as depression and anxiety. Social media may be especially attractive to those experiencing FOMO and experiencing a lack of social support, reinforcing the need to overcompensate for a perceived lack of social capital and to secure sexual relationships.

Based on a 2019 study, the researchers write, "adolescents higher in FOMO were more likely to send nude images and videos to strangers and people they knew, suggesting more sexual risk-taking and sexually liberal behavior in line with an unrestricted sociosexual orientation and short-term mating tendencies."

Social media is often used as a way to elevate one's social capital and enables the sexually competitive behaviors of self-promotion and striving to avoid feelings of shame, inadequacy or inferiority. It provides constant access to social information about others, thereby increasing sexual competition and inclinations toward casual sexual relationships.

Conclusion

While the fear of missing out may serve an adaptive function by alerting individuals to their need for social connection, it is usually not an emotionally positive experience. FOMO is a powerful force driving sexual and often risky behavior. Embracing discernment while experiencing sexual FOMO allows individuals to make informed choices that align with their genuine desires rather than just innate evolutionary instincts.

Wondering how high your level of FOMO is? Try this evidence-based Fear Of Missing Out personality test.

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.