Are You 'Symbiosexual'? Here's How To Tell

If energy is more attractive to you than a person's physical features, then you may be a 'symbiosexual.' Here's how to know.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | October 17, 2024

A recent study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior explored the phenomenon of symbiosexuality, which refers to one's attraction to the dynamic energy between two or more people in an existing relationship. Researcher Sally W. Johnston, faculty at Seattle University, explains symbiosexuality as "an attraction to the energy, multidimensionality and power shared between people in relationships."

It's different from other sexualities, such as bisexuality or pansexuality, which involve attraction to people of various or all genders. Symbiosexuality, however, focuses on the bond and connection between people in a relationship rather than individuals or their genders.

The Symbiosexual Attraction

Symbiosexuality is observed across a wide range of ages, racial backgrounds, socio-economic classes and gender identities. Most individuals from the study who experienced symbiosexuality identified themselves as polyamorous or queer.

Here's what they reported as most interesting in relationships they were attracted to:

• Energy and cohesion. Many participants were attracted to the energy and cohesion displayed by couples, describing the synergy and connection between the two individuals as highly appealing. A participant from the study said, "Their cohesiveness—you feed off their energy, their attraction to each other... there's an interplay between the couple."
• Charisma. The chemistry and magnetism of a couple can be more enticing than the individual traits of the people in the relationship. Another participant mentioned being drawn to how couples interact and complement each other, "They are very fun, flirty and sexy together, and they're just very charismatic as a unit."
• Multidimensionality. Participants appreciated the complexity that arises from the shared experiences, emotions and histories between the partners, making the couple more appealing than individuals alone.
• Power and strength. Some participants were attracted to the power created by a partnership, such as the mutual support, shared goals and complementary strengths of a couple. A participant described their attraction toward a particular couple: "The combination of them is just—it's a transcendent thing. It's beautiful, and they have one of the most beautiful relationships that I know…it is definitely not just about the sum of the parts but something greater than that. There's something synergistic."
• Intimacy and relationship quality. People were particularly attracted to couples who demonstrated a strong, healthy and loving relationship, often marked by good communication and mutual respect. Another participant shared, "If your perception is that they have a healthy, good relationship, then yeah, what's not attractive about someone who's good to their partner, communicates well and is caring? Those are good things."
• Physical appearance as a unit. Some found the way couples look together physically appealing, commenting on their vibe and attractiveness as a pair. A participant highlighted, "I experienced this attraction first on a purely physical level. I think that there are times where people just aesthetically look really good together so that's hot."
• Playfulness and fun. The playful and fun dynamics of some couples were a significant draw for several individuals. One of the participant explained, "Three people is really, really, really fun. And when two people have a good sexual chemistry, and then they invite you in, that's really fun."
• Gender and sexual queerness. Some individuals were attracted to the fluidity of gender and sexual expression within the relationship, finding it exciting and freeing. Another participant shared, "It's because the gender sort of falls away and that's really what I find attractive about it. It's not that it's not masculine or feminine energy that's there. It's just that it doesn't matter."

Symbiosexuality needs recognition because it remains largely invisible and underexplored in both cultural and academic discourse. Lack of recognition can lead to negative impacts, including stigma and discrimination against those who experience this form of attraction.

Additionally, even within the polyamorous community, where one might expect more openness, there is often invalidation of symbiosexual attraction. Recognizing symbiosexuality could help validate the experiences of those who feel attraction to relational dynamics and challenge the conventional boundaries of sexual orientation and desire.

Do you fall in love hard and fast, only to end up regretting it? Take this test to find out if it's really love at first sight or "emophilia": Emotional Promiscuity Scale

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here, and on PsychologyToday.com, here.