Are You A Junkie For Romance? These 10 Questions Can Reveal Your 'Love Addiction' Levels

Love is divine, but an overreliance on its drug-like effects can turn you into an addict.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | March 08, 2024

Love addiction is a psychological condition characterized by an obsessive need for romantic love and relationships. Individuals with love addiction often experience intense feelings of infatuation, possessiveness and fear of abandonment. They may engage in compulsive behaviors such as constantly seeking reassurance from their partner, neglecting other aspects of their life and experiencing withdrawal symptoms when not in a relationship.

A study published in the Journal of Neurophysiology found that love addiction is linked to the reward and motivation regions in our brains. When we fall in love, we experience a rush of dopamine, adrenaline, oxytocin and serotonin that triggers feelings of happiness and a drive to pursue our partner. This process is similar to the "neural fireworks" seen in substance abuse.

The highs of love addiction are intoxicating, but when partners are distant, those addicted to love may spiral into withdrawal, overwhelmed by anxiety and yearning, fueling the addiction and making it hard to break free.

What Psychological Factors Contribute To Love Addiction?

Several factors can contribute to the development of love addiction. Here are three primary factors:

• Attachment styles developed in childhood significantly influence adult relationships. Those with anxious attachment styles often fear abandonment and seek constant reassurance, leading to a heightened risk of love addiction. Conversely, avoidant attachment styles may avoid intimacy, seeking new relationships to avoid emotional closeness. These insecure attachment styles can lead to love addiction by seeking intense relationships to fulfill emotional needs, resulting in unhealthy behavior and emotional distress.
• Childhood experiences, especially trauma or dysfunction, can greatly affect one's ability to form healthy adult relationships. For instance, those who experienced neglect or abuse may associate love with pain, seeking relationships that mirror these early experiences. Similarly, individuals from chaotic backgrounds may struggle with trust and intimacy, making secure attachments challenging.
• Individuals with low self-esteem may seek validation and self-worth through romantic relationships, leading to a pattern of seeking out intense relationships to feel valued and accepted. This can result in an unhealthy dependence on a partner for validation and self-worth, thereby creating a cycle of emotional highs and lows.

What Are The Ramifications Of Love Addiction?

A 2023 study found that love addiction is associated with lower relationship satisfaction, high jealousy, possessiveness and fear of abandonment. The fear of abandonment can cause love addicts to engage in controlling or manipulative behaviors, further straining the relationship.

This intense emotional and physical attachment goes beyond typical love. Those who experience it feel a compulsive need to please their partners, often at the expense of their own well-being. Obsessive love can also lead to codependency, where one person relies heavily on their partner for emotional support and validation. Additionally, they may also neglect other aspects of their life, such as work, hobbies and friendships, in favor of spending time with their partner. This may lead to overall dissatisfaction in social life.

How Do You Know If You Have A Love Addiction?

A study published in the International Journal of Health and Addiction presented a comprehensive, 10-item self-report scale, designed to evaluate love addiction.

This diagnostic tool enables individuals to delve into the complex motivations and psychological elements that underpin love addiction. Here are the statements, rated on an agree-disagree scale.

1. I feel an urgent need to be with my partner.
2. I feel anxious when I am not in the company of my partner.
3. To feel relaxed, I need to spend more time with my partner.
4. I discard my family and social commitments to be with my partner.
5. I want to stay with my partner to relieve stress.
6. I want to increase the time I spend with my partner.
7. I feel abandoned when I am not with my partner.
8. I neglect my studies or work to be in a relationship with my partner.
9. I feel depressed when I am not with my partner.
10. I leave my recreational and social activities to be with my partner.

By recognizing these warning signs and evaluating the intensity of love-related behaviors, individuals can engage in open discussions with their partners, seek professional assistance and take proactive steps to address these concerns, enhancing their romantic lives.

If you'd like to take the Love Addiction Test cited above and receive your results, you can follow this link: Love Addiction Inventory

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.