A Psychologist Explains The 'Broken Jewelry Theory' Of Love

The 'broken jewelry theory' is making rounds on social media. Here's what it may mean in your romantic relationship.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | March 18, 2025

Have you ever had a necklace snap or a ring go missing and had an inexplicable feeling that this was a moment of significance? Perhaps a fleeting thought crossed your mind— Is this a sign?"

The "Broken Jewelry Theory," circulating on social media, suggests that when a cherished piece of jewelry tied to a relationship breaks, it may symbolize an underlying emotional shift.

A lost engagement ring could reflect inner doubts about commitment, while a broken bracelet from a former partner might signal emotional closure—or lingering attachment. Even jewelry gifted by friends or family may hold meaning, mirroring relationships that aren't being nurtured or unresolved wounds from the past.

Though often explored in spiritual circles, what's truly at play here isn't necessarily fate, but perception. The human mind is wired to find patterns and symbols in everyday life, and the meaning we assign to an event often reveals more about our inner state than the event itself.

Here are two key psychological phenomena that explain why we attach meaning to these moments—and how to interpret them in a way that strengthens, rather than unsettles, our relationships.

1. The Attachment Perspective

People don't just form attachments to other humans—they also bond with objects that represent their relationships. These possessions act as symbolic placeholders, maintaining a sense of connection even when loved ones are absent.

Rings, bracelets and necklaces exchanged between partners often serve as "attachment objects," much like a favorite photograph or a handwritten letter. These items become symbols of love, commitment and stability, providing a sense of emotional security.

For instance, research on older adults in supervised living facilities found that cherished objects helped preserve identity by linking them to meaningful relationships, past experiences and former versions of themselves.

Similarly, when a significant piece of jewelry breaks, the distress it triggers isn't necessarily about the relationship itself but about the disruption of a tangible symbol of love, stability or personal history.

For individuals with a secure attachment style, who are able to trust their partners, communicate openly and feel comfortable with both intimacy and independence, sentimental jewelry is valued but not essential to their sense of security. Its loss may bring disappointment, but it doesn't shake their confidence in the relationship.

However, for those with an anxious attachment style, who may already struggle with fears of abandonment or instability, a broken piece of jewelry can feel disproportionately significant. It can stir up subconscious anxieties, prompting thoughts like, "Is this a sign my relationship is falling apart?" or "Is something bad about to happen?"

This heightened sensitivity may even lead them to misinterpret unrelated events—like a partner's delayed text or a seemingly distant tone of voice—as further evidence that something is wrong.

So, instead of viewing the broken jewelry as a bad omen, use it as an opportunity to deepen your emotional awareness and relationship resilience. Here's how:

• Acknowledge the sentimental weight. Rather than dismissing your emotions, recognize why the jewelry felt significant. Was it tied to a specific memory, promise or stage in your relationship? Understanding its meaning can provide clarity on what you truly value.
• Lean into emotional security, not physical tokens. Instead of relying on objects to feel connected, focus on the daily interactions and shared experiences that truly define your relationship. Strengthen your emotional foundation through meaningful gestures, open conversations and quality time.

If broken jewelry triggers deeper insecurities, use it as a cue to discuss emotional needs with your partner. If the distress stems from personal fears, it could be an opportunity for self-work. A broken bracelet doesn't define a relationship, but it can prompt reflection on what truly sustains it.

2. The Cognitive Perspective

Humans are wired to find patterns, even where none exist—a tendency known as apophenia. This instinct helps us make sense of the world, but also leads us to assign meaning to random events, like a broken piece of jewelry.

Research shows that apophenia heightens false-positive errors in cognitive tasks, leading us to see connections where none exist. In relationships, this can make an ordinary event—like a snapped necklace or a lost ring—feel symbolic of deeper issues when it's likely just a coincidence.

This is where "confirmation bias" also sets in—the tendency to focus on evidence that supports our existing beliefs while ignoring anything that contradicts them.

If you already feel uneasy about your relationship, your brain may latch onto the broken jewelry as proof of deeper trouble. A last-minute plan change or a distracted response from your partner—otherwise insignificant—suddenly reinforces a narrative of instability. However, if you feel secure, you're more likely to dismiss the breakage as coincidence.

This cognitive trap can create unnecessary stress and even a self-fulfilling prophecy—if you start withdrawing or acting anxious because you believe something is wrong, your partner may pick up on this and pull away, unintentionally feeding your fears.

Instead of viewing the event as fate, separate feelings from facts. Shift from instinctive meaning-making to intentional meaning-making. Rather than passively accepting the break as a "sign," actively choose how to interpret it. Here are a few ways to do this:

• Reality testing. Challenge your initial reaction ("This must mean something is wrong") with logic ("Objects break all the time; this isn't personal"). Ask yourself: Would I see it the same way if it happened to a friend?
• Avoid the spotlight effect. Our minds tend to exaggerate the significance of small events. A broken bracelet is no different than a spilled coffee—it's an inconvenience, not necessarily a message from the universe.
• Reframe with action. Instead of mourning the break, turn it into something positive. Repair it as a symbol of renewal or use the moment to reflect on how you engage in your relationships.

The key is to take control of the meaning you assign. A broken piece of jewelry isn't a prophecy—it's simply an object. The real question is whether the emotions it stirs reflect genuine relationship concerns or just the mind searching for patterns where none exist. If real issues need attention, address them through honest conversations and self-reflection. Otherwise, let the breakage be what it likely is—an accident, not an omen.

Whether you view this theory through an attachment or cognitive lens, the real power lies in your response, shaped largely by your attachment style. Take the science-backed Anxious Attachment Scale to learn more about yours.

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.