4 Reasons Why Being 'Lovestruck' Is All-Consuming
Research reveals how being smitten with someone new can make our brains go haywire.
By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | October 28, 2024
The emotional highs of new love are intoxicating, and the lows can feel agonizing—creating an experience that is as thrilling as it is consuming. But beneath these feelings lies a complex biological process: love activates powerful chemicals in your brain, fueling emotional peaks, bonding and an intense focus on the person of affection.
Here are some key elements behind the complex brain chemistry of being lovestruck.
1. Dopamine Fuels The Spark Of Attraction
This initial dopamine-fueled stage creates the spark that ignites attraction, setting the stage for everything that follows. Often called the brain's "feel-good" neurotransmitter, dopamine is released in high doses whenever you're with or even just thinking about the person you desire.
Dopamine activates the brain's reward system, the same network involved in addictive behaviors like gambling or substance use.
"Individuals in the early stage of intense romantic love show many symptoms of substance and non-substance or behavioral addictions, including euphoria, craving, tolerance, emotional and physical dependence, withdrawal and relapse," explains a 2016 study published in Frontiers in Psychology.
A glance from your crush, a shared laugh or the ping of their text triggers a surge of dopamine, leaving you euphoric and craving for more. Those first encounters spark an intense desire to be around them, making time together feel fleeting. This emotional rush lays the foundation for deeper attachments and the powerful emotions that follow.
2. Norepinephrine And The Rush Of Excitement
As dopamine sparks feelings of pleasure, norepinephrine or noradrenaline kicks in, heightening both physical and emotional responses. It's what makes your palms sweat, your heart race and your mind buzz with nervous energy when you're around your partner.
Norepinephrine sharpens focus and keeps you alert, locking your attention on your romantic interest and making it hard to think about anything else.
This chemical plays a key role in the fight-or-flight response by increasing heart rate, tightening blood vessels and boosting alertness—priming your brain and body to handle both physical and emotional challenges.
Dr. Jacquie Olds, a psychiatry professor at Harvard Medical School, explains in an interview with the American Heart Association that during the early stages of attraction, phenylethylamine—a hormone-like substance—triggers the release of dopamine and norepinephrine, amplifying joy and excitement.
"That's what makes you want to pursue a course of action, getting closer to the one you love," she explains. "It's what makes you feel like you are on a cloud, flying through the air."
3. As Cortisol Rises, Serotonin Drops, Driving The Obsession Of Love
During early romantic love, cortisol—the body's primary stress hormone—surges, preparing you for the emotional turbulence of new attachment. As cortisol levels rise, serotonin—the neurotransmitter partly responsible for mood regulation—drops, triggering mental preoccupation with the person you desire.
This chemical shift explains behaviors such as obsessively checking your phone, overanalyzing conversations and feeling anxious when not in contact with your partner.
Dr. Richard Schwartz, a psychiatry professor at Harvard Medical School, points out that these thoughts—like constantly thinking about the person, worrying about their feelings and replaying interactions—are similar to the symptoms seen in obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), making infatuation feel overwhelming and all-consuming. He calls them "intrusive, maddeningly preoccupying thoughts, hopes (and) terrors of early love."
4. Oxytocin And Vasopressin Blooms Romance
A 2017 study published in Frontiers in Endocrinology highlights how oxytocin and vasopressin work together to shape romantic love by balancing emotional bonding and protective behaviors.
Oxytocin, often called the "cuddle hormone," is released during physical touch and intimacy, promoting trust and emotional closeness. It reinforces feelings of contentment and security, helping couples feel more connected after affectionate moments.
Vasopressin complements oxytocin by encouraging monogamy, loyalty and protective behaviors, supporting long-term attachment. Together, these hormones create a foundation for stability and perseverance in relationships, even during difficult times.
The study emphasizes that romantic love requires the combined influence of oxytocin and vasopressin. While oxytocin deepens emotional intimacy, vasopressin strengthens commitment and protective instincts. Their effects can vary based on personal experiences, emotional context and biological factors such as sex, making love a unique and dynamic experience for every individual.
This hormonal interplay transitions relationships from early excitement to deep, enduring bonds, ensuring stability over time. Understanding the brain's response when you're lovestruck not only explains why love feels all-consuming but also reveals the science behind the joy, single-minded focus and commitment it inspires.
Falling in love is special, but if you keep falling for the wrong people, it might be Emophilia. Take the science-backed Emotional Promiscuity Scale to find out.
A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.