3 Ways That Fear Can Gatekeep Your Success

We often talk about the fear of failure, but not nearly enough about the fear of success. Here's how it manifests, and how it might be hindering you.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | August 08, 2024

When we talk about personal and professional growth, the fear of failure usually takes center stage. But there's another, less talked-about anxiety that often hides in the background: the fear of success. This fear, quietly lurking behind our goals, subtly shapes our choices and actions.

The fear of success involves anxiety about achieving one's goals and the potential consequences that accompany that achievement. It is the unease about stepping into a new level of accomplishment and facing the unknown challenges it may bring. Unlike the fear of failure, which is about avoiding pain and disappointment, the fear of success is about avoiding responsibilities, changes and potential losses that come with success, leading to decreased life satisfaction in the long run.

This fear can be overpowering, creating a paradox where, despite having the skills and opportunities to succeed, we might unknowingly sabotage our own efforts to escape the perceived downsides of success.

Here are three key drivers of this fear and some practical ways to manage its impact.

1. Fear Of Change

Success often brings significant changes—new responsibilities, altered routines and different expectations. While these changes can be exciting, they can also be overwhelming and intimidating. This fear of the unknown and disruption to familiar patterns can create a strong barrier to pursuing success. It stems from the discomfort of stepping out of one's comfort zone and facing the uncertainties that change brings.

Research published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that people tend to evaluate things more positively simply because they've been around longer. This preference for familiarity and stability highlights why many resist the changes success demands. When faced with the prospect of success, we might avoid it because we find comfort in what we already know. This fear of change can hold us back from achieving success, even when it's within our reach.

Here's how you can allow yourself to step into the unknown even when it seems daunting:

Reframe your perspective. View change as an exciting opportunity rather than a threat. Make a list of potential benefits and positive outcomes, and review it regularly to stay motivated. This shift in mindset helps you see change as a stepping stone rather than a stumbling block.
Design a "change sandbox." Test new changes in a low-risk setting before fully implementing them. For instance, if your new role requires different skills, practice them in a side project or volunteer role. This sandbox approach allows you to test out the changes, refine your strategies and build confidence without the pressure of immediate full-scale implementation, thereby allowing you time to gradually acclimate to the changes and reduce anxiety.
Establish a change routine. Integrate new changes incrementally into your daily life. Set specific time blocks for new tasks and create rituals around them to establish normalcy. A structured routine helps manage the transition smoothly and provides stability, reducing feelings of overwhelm.

2. Fear Of Responsibility

Success often brings increased responsibility, which can feel daunting. The fear of having to manage new expectations and tasks can make the prospect of success intimidating. The weight of these responsibilities can deter people from striving for success, as they worry about failing to meet the demands placed upon them. Thoughts like, "What if I can't handle it?" or "What if I let everyone down?", can create a mental barrier, stopping us from embracing opportunities that could lead to greater fulfillment and achievement.

It's essential to recognize that growth often involves stepping into bigger roles and taking on more significant challenges. Here's a strategic approach to stop this fear effectively:

Build confidence. Reflect on past successes and how you managed similar responsibilities. Remind yourself of your ability to rise to challenges and adapt. Consider documenting your achievements and strategies in a personal "playbook." Reviewing it during challenging times can boost your confidence in handling future responsibilities.
Develop skills. Identify areas where you feel less competent and seek opportunities for improvement. Enroll in relevant courses, attend workshops or find a mentor. Additionally, create a personal development plan with specific, measurable goals to track your progress.
Delegate. Recognize that you don't have to handle everything on your own. Delegate tasks to manage your workload and reduce stress. Identify which tasks can be assigned to others, and trust them to handle these responsibilities. Effective delegation lightens your load, empowers others and fosters collaboration. Ensure clear communication and provide guidance to maintain quality and meet your standards.

3. Fear Of Losing Relationships

Success can change the dynamics of personal and professional relationships, leading to anxiety about jealousy, envy or being perceived differently by others. Many people worry that their achievements will create distance between them and their loved ones or colleagues, causing strained or even lost relationships. This fear of losing connections or facing abandonment can be especially strong if past experiences have shown that success can lead to resentment or envy in others.

To address this fear and maintain healthy relationships:

Set boundaries. Define clear limits to balance success with personal well-being. Communicate your availability to others and adhere to these limits to prevent burnout. For example, designate specific times for family or personal activities to stay connected while pursuing your goals.
Involve loved ones in your journey. Share your goals and milestones with family and friends. Inviting their input and celebrating achievements together can make them feel valued and included. This involvement can turn your success into a shared experience, reducing feelings of distance or jealousy. For example, if you receive a significant promotion, celebrate with your loved ones and acknowledge their support in helping you achieve it.
Deepen your understanding. Understand the feelings and perspectives of those around you. Success can sometimes make others feel insecure or left behind, so demonstrating empathy can help bridge gaps. Listen actively, validate their emotions and reassure them of their importance. Next time if a friend seems distant after your success, reach out and address their feelings.

The worry that you don't deserve success or fear that you won't be able to sustain it can take a mental toll. Take the evidence-based Imposter Syndrome Scale to learn more.

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.