3 Kinds Of 'Pick-Up Lines'—Ranked From Best To Worst

If you're trying to shoot your shot, here's why being direct is the best way to score.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | July 22, 2024

"Pick-up lines" are short, often clever or flirtatious statements used to initiate a conversation with someone you have romantic or sexual interest in. They often serve as icebreakers, attempting to capture attention and spark a connection.

Pick-up lines can help break the initial awkwardness or silence with someone new, while signaling interest. A successful start can set the stage for future encounters and open the door to deeper conversations, potential dates and relationships. But are all pick-up lines equally effective?

Here are three factors that determine the effectiveness of a pick-up line.

1. The Type Of Pick-Up Line

A 2020 study published in Personality and Individual Differences examined the types of pick-up lines women use while flirting with men and their effectiveness in securing a phone number or a future date. Researchers revealed three types of pick-up lines:

• Direct. These lines are straightforward and clear in their intention. They typically involve an honest and open approach, where the speaker directly expresses their interest. For instance, asking someone for their number, asking if they're single or saying "I think you're really cute, can I buy you a drink?"
• Innocuous. These lines are more neutral and indirect, usually serving as a way to start a conversation without immediately revealing romantic interest. They are designed to be subtle and non-threatening. For instance, saying "Do you come here often?" or "That's a great book you're reading; what do you think of it so far?"
• Flippant. Flippant pick-up lines tend to be humorous, playful and often a bit cheesy. The goal is to break the ice with humor and showcase a fun personality. For example, saying "Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?"

"The innocuous and flippant lines are theorized to protect the user from rejection, as they can disguise a failed attempt as a simple question or a joke," the researchers write, highlighting how an indirect approach is often perceived to be the safest bet.

However, researchers found that direct pick-up lines were most preferred by men, especially when used by highly attractive women, while innocuous lines were the least popular of the three.

"Men's dislike of innocuous lines may be due to the lines not explicitly conveying intent. Hence, men are unable to determine if the woman using the line was interested in more than a conversation. For both men and women, users of direct lines are perceived as being the most likable and responsible, as well as being the least selfish," the researchers explain.

Research shows that we tend to be more attracted to those whose emotions and mental states are easily understandable, reducing ambiguity and facilitating a sense of connection. So, a direct approach tends to ignite a spark quicker than most.

2. The Type Of Connection One Is Looking For

Research shows that the effectiveness of a pick-up line often depends on whether the recipient is looking for a long-term or short-term relationship. Researchers examined how women perceived men based on this intention.

"Matching a "good dad" hypothesis, they favored him for a long-term relationship if he used a direct or innocuous line instead of the flippant line, because the latter conveyed lower trustworthiness and intelligence," the researchers write.

While men using flippant lines were perceived to be funny, confident and more sociable than the others, these pick-up lines—especially when sexual in nature— were unappealing to women in search of reliable, long-term relationships.

"Matching a "good genes" hypothesis, they favored him for a short-term relationship if he was attractive instead of unattractive, regardless of his pick-up line, presumably because attractiveness signals heritable fitness," the researchers explain.

3. The Personality Type Being Conveyed

The type of pick-up line used can reflect aspects of the speaker's personality, such as their sincerity, sense of humor, confidence and creativity. This can help create a positive first impression or weed out partners based on qualities the recipient is not looking for.

In a 2021 study, participants gauged a person's personality traits based on their tinder dating profiles and pick-up lines the researchers included. For men, the attractiveness of the profile mattered most in wanting to pursue the connection, but for women, perceiving positive attributes such as kindness, intelligence, trustworthiness and friendliness predicted wanting to pursue long-term and short term relationships with potential matches.

Researchers also found that complimentary or humorous pick-up lines (but not a combination of both in a singular message) were better received than generic comments such as "Hey, what's up," that do not convey much about the other person's qualities or intentions.

The psychology behind pick-up lines reveals that directness often holds the key to transforming an initial spark into a meaningful connection. While cute or flippant lines can be humorous and buffer against a fear of rejection, they may not always convey clear intent. Innocuous lines, though safe, can also leave the recipient unsure of the speaker's true interest.

For those seeking genuine connections, direct lines signal clear romantic interest and enhance likability and perceived sincerity. So, the next time you're looking to make a lasting impression, consider going direct—you might just find honesty is the best policy.

Curious whether you're spending too much time pursuing a relationship? Take this test to find out: Problematic Tinder Use Scale

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.