Why Women Initiate More Divorces Than Men
Research reveals why men rely so much more heavily on marriage than their wives do.
By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | April 28, 2025
When it comes to ending a marriage, women are often the ones who make the first move. This pattern is backed by decades of research. Men report more desire for marriage than women and it's been known to boost their health, career prospects and even life expectancy.
For women, however, the trade-offs are murkier. Unmarried women often thrive more emotionally and physically than their married peers, while unmarried men face higher risks of loneliness, poor health and early death.
In fact, research shows that women fare far better at being single than men do, with higher levels of satisfaction with their relationship status, life satisfaction, sexual satisfaction and a lower level of desire to have a partner.
In contrast, men's reliance on marriage often runs so deep that they are less likely to initiate divorce, even when they're unhappy with their partners.
Here are four reasons why men may find it difficult to leave a marriage.
1. They Feel Tied To Their Children
For many men, the choice to stay is not necessarily about their love for their partner, but rather a strong sense of responsibility towards their children. They may feel that leaving would mean failing their family, especially their children, even if the relationship itself no longer feels fulfilling.
In a 2021 study published in the Journal of Social Welfare and Family Law exploring separated fathers' understanding of "home," many men described it not just as a physical space, but as a combination of emotions, relationships, routines and surroundings. Despite their efforts to engage in meaningful activities and create emotionally supportive environments, these fathers often experienced a sense of loss or insecurity.
Their children didn't always view their homes as their "main" home and often identified with their mother's home as their "real home." This perception made some fathers feel that their parenting efforts might not be fully recognized or valued. When their children weren't present, the house often felt empty, which made them feel like home only truly existed when the children were there.
This emotional reality of feeling invisible or secondary is one many married men quietly contend with. So, even in the face of an unhappy relationship, they may choose to stay, driven more by duty, guilt or cultural expectations than by emotional connection or personal satisfaction.
2. They Fear The Loss Of Stability
For many men, divorce brings not just emotional upheaval but also profound uncertainty about the future. Financial instability, loneliness and the disruption of familiar routines fuel a fear of the unknown. The prospect of starting over can feel overwhelming, compounded by the sunk-cost fallacy of abandoning a long-term investment in the relationship.
Research highlights this tension. A 2024 study in Aging & Mental Health found that older divorcees often experience freedom and loneliness simultaneously. While some described liberation from unhappy marriages and the chance to pursue suppressed desires, others grappled with isolation.
Yet, men's post-divorce trajectories differ from that of women's. A 2018 Sociological Inquiry study revealed that men are more likely to seek remarriage, reflecting a persistent reliance on marriage for care and companionship. Women, by contrast, are more reluctant to marry, fearing more caregiving burdens.
Together, these findings underscore a paradox: men may stay in unfulfilling marriages due to fear of instability, yet they also depend on the institution emotionally. Even when divorce offers relief, the desire to rebuild marital bonds persists. This suggests that marriage remains a primary anchor for emotional security for many men.
3. They're Conditioned To Suppress Emotions
Many men are not taught how to express vulnerability or even recognize emotional dissatisfaction, leading them to normalize their discontent. Over time, emotional suppression can cause men to accept unhappiness as "just a part of life."
A 2015 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships suggests that when husbands suppress emotions, it harms relationship satisfaction, particularly early in marriage. As dissatisfaction grows, it alters how spouses manage emotions — often leaving both husbands and wives emotionally disconnected.
Over time, this dynamic can create a sense of entrapment. Some men, despite feeling deeply unhappy, struggle to leave, either because they refuse to voice their needs or because they fear the consequences. For those from traditional backgrounds, divorce may be seen as failure or weakness, further locking them into unfulfilling marriages.
4. They Lack Support Systems
While men tend to report having more same-sex friendships than women, these relationships are often not very close, intimate or emotionally open. Researchers suggest that several factors prevent emotional closeness between men.
This could be due to societal expectations tied to traditional male roles — such as the pressure to compete, a fear of being perceived as weak, discomfort with vulnerability and homophobia — as well as a lack of positive role models for male emotional connection.
As a result, they often do not find the tools or safe spaces to open up. This may make them feel like being in a dysfunctional relationship is better than separating from their partner and facing isolation.
Men's reluctance to leave unhappy marriages is rarely about one factor. It's an entanglement of emotional suppression, fear of loneliness, cultural expectations and the absence of strong support systems.
Many stay out of habit or the hope that things will return to how they once were. But holding on to memories or enduring emotional strain in silence only deepens the wound.
What men need is understanding and encouragement to redefine masculinity so that they feel safe enough to open up to others. They need to believe that taking care of others doesn't mean neglecting themselves and that choosing emotional honesty is not a sign of weakness.
How happy are you in your marriage? Take the science-backed Marital Satisfaction Scale to find out.
A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.