The 5 Kinds Of 'New Love'—And Which Kinds Are Healthiest

Research reveals that new relationships often fall into one of five categories. Where do you and your partner stand?

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | July 22, 2024

Every relationship is unique, but that doesn't mean that certain relationship patterns or "types" don't exist. Take this 2021 paper published in Family Relations, which identifies the following five categories of new romances:

1. Happily consolidated. This type includes relationships marked by high levels of warmth, support and mutual commitment. Partners in these relationships spend a significant amount of time together, share many aspects of their lives and have a strong likelihood of considering marriage.
2. Happily independent. These relationships are characterized by high relationship quality and emotional intimacy, but partners maintain significant independence. They spend less time together compared to happily consolidated couples and value their personal space and autonomy.
3. Exploratory. Relationships in this category are generally less serious and more casual. Partners are still in the process of exploring their compatibility and are less likely to be committed or to see a long-term future together.
4. Stuck. These relationships exhibit negative interactions and low levels of relationship satisfaction. Partners may feel trapped or unable to progress, often leading to frustration and dissatisfaction without clear paths to improvement or separation.
5. High intensity. This category includes relationships that are marked by intense emotions, both positive and negative. Partners in high-intensity relationships experience strong passion and conflict, leading to a roller-coaster dynamic that can be both exhilarating and exhausting.

The researchers identified these categories by surveying 396 romantically involved but unmarried adults.

"Emerging adult romantic relationships vary in terms of their relational dynamics, emotional and physical intimacy, and commitment," state the authors, led by Jonathon Beckmeyer of Indiana University School of Public Health–Bloomington. "Our objective was to use multiple romantic relationship dimensions to identify a typology of emerging adult romantic relationships."

The researchers found "happily consolidated" to be the most common of the five relationship categories, with approximately 31% of couples falling into this enviable group. "Stuck" was the second-most prevalent group, followed by "happily independent," "exploratory" and "high intensity."

The researchers view the "happily independent" category as a stepping stone to "happily consolidated."

"Emerging adults in happily independent relationships are eager to remain open to the possibilities that come with developing other parts of their lives outside of their romantic unions such as maintaining close friendships and pursuing academic and occupational opportunities," state the authors. "We speculate that over time, happily independent relationships may transition into happily consolidated unions."

Those in the "stuck" category tended to have the longest relationship duration of the five groups despite feeling ambivalent about their relationship. Respondents in this group said things like "I spend a lot of time with my partner but it's unlikely that we'll ever get married." Not surprisingly, individuals in this category reported more depressive symptoms than those in the "happily independent," "happily consolidated," and "exploratory" groups. They also exhibited higher relationship cycling, suggesting they may be caught in a protracted effort to dissolve the relationship.

The researchers suggest that therapy may be a good option for individuals in the "stuck" or "high intensity" categories, as they likely have deep-seated relationship patterns that require an intensive and individualized type of intervention. On the other hand, those in the "happily consolidated," happily independent" and "exploratory" categories might take advantage of common, couples-based relationship education—programs focusing on strengthening relationships through building and maintaining intimacy, learning to resolve conflicts and planning for the future.

"Providing emerging adults in positive, committed relationships with relationship education resources can support the investments and commitments they have already made in their romantic relationships," conclude the researchers.

Unsure where you stand in your relationship? Take the Relationship Satisfaction Scale for a science-backed answer.

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here, and on PsychologyToday.com, here.