Is Your Colleague Actually Hot, Or Are They Just 'Work Hot'?

Research shows that sexual tension between colleagues might not be based on actual attraction.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | February 20, 2024

We've all been through a situation where we've caught feelings for a charming co-worker. However, after seeing them outside of work or sharing pictures of them with friends, you may have found it difficult to justify the crush to yourself. If so, you might be experiencing the "work hot" phenomenon.

Work hot describes somebody who seems attractive in the workplace, but not necessarily outside of it. They might have a genial disposition, the ability to network effectively or an admirable work ethic, which all seem alluring in the workplace—but rapidly lose their charm when the workday ends.

Why Do Co-Workers Seem Attractive?

According to a 2023 Statistasurvey, the average American work week goes up to 45.5 hours—that's over a third of your life. Spending prolonged periods of time in close proximity can create strong bonds among colleagues. The monotony of working long hours is also broken by the thrill of fantasizing about a co-worker.

Another compelling reason for a co-worker's attractiveness is their capability and competency at work. Research found that people exhibit high levels of desirability for prospective partners with high emotional and cognitive intelligence. A colleague who is reliable, popular and competent at handling work pressure appears more desirable than the rest.

A 2023 survey conducted by Forbes Advisor found the following common motivators behind people looking for romance at work:

Comfort. The familiarity and trust that develops between co-workers over time can create the illusion of chemistry, even if there is none.
Long work hours. A lack of time outside of work to meet new romantic interests can push co-workers closer to each other.
Convenience. Coinciding schedules, constant availability and a shared workspace can make an office crush seem like the "natural" choice.

These factors can be legitimate reasons for pursuing a co-worker romantically. However, the survey also found that having a romantic partner at work impacts peoples' job performance, sense of individuality and makes them the focus of work gossip. So, it becomes all the more imperative to tread carefully when you find a co-worker attractive. Which brings us to:

Making Sense Of Workplace Crush Is A Four-Step Process

Finding a co-worker attractive is common. But, pursuing a romantic interest at work can have a major impact on several areas of your life. Here are four ways to rein in a whirlwind work crush:

Interact outside your work. Meeting your co-worker outside of work will give you an inkling about how deep your feelings run. It will help you find out if the attraction withstands the test of a social interaction beyond the workspace. You will also be able to ascertain whether you have been swayed by their work persona.
Be selective. Remember to uphold your usual standards for romantic pursuits. Enforcing your dating preferences in the workplace will help you gain perspective and can keep you from making a decision you might regret later.
Remain professional within the workplace. Despite how attractive a colleague may seem, it is vital that you remain professional. Maintaining proper conduct and keeping a check on your feelings will ensure that your work performance is not jeopardized by a work crush.
Familiarize yourself with the guidelines. It is also prudent to find out the workplace relationship guidelines and policies that are set in place by your organization. This will protect your reputation as an employee and your relationships with other colleagues.

In a nutshell, these factors may provide much needed assurance and clarity to your attraction toward a co-worker. Understanding the reasons behind your attraction and approaching office crushes with caution will safeguard you from relationship disasters at the workplace.

If you're unsure whether you find your co-worker attractive or if simply charmed by their work competency, take this scale to find out: Interpersonal Attraction Scale

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.