Early passion and excitement in long-term relationships usually give way to the more practical realities of life. For many loving couples, the comforts of this stability can be deeply rewarding, as it may well reflect their many years of hard work. But for others, this stability is misconstrued as a sign that effort is no longer needed. In turn, comfort begets a very specific kind of complacency: “roommate syndrome.”

This occurs when two partners who share a home and a routine no longer share a romantic bond of any meaning or substance. Rather than lovers, they operate in ways that are better described as housemates: coordinating their errands and managing their bills. Although proof of their romantic relationship may exist on legal documents, the actual spirit of romance is absent.

Many couples are inclined to rationalize this dynamic — since, after all, they’re together every day, they talk to each other and they still sleep in the same bed. However, proximity and partnership aren’t one and the same.

The following three signs are a few of the clearest indicators that roommate syndrome has taken over a relationship.

1. They’re Always Together, But Hardly Have Any Quality Time

Couples with roommate syndrome might, at a glance, seem totally inseparable. They do their grocery shopping together; they watch television side by side; they very rarely spend nights apart. You may assume at face value that they have plenty of “togetherness.” But if you were to inspect their dynamic any further, you’d soon find that their time spent together is clinical and cold.

As a 2020 study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin notes, couples in low-quality, unsatisfying relationships often feel as though time spent together is time wasted. This doesn’t mean they aren’t physically present with one another, but rather that the presence itself lacks any joy or depth.

So, while sitting wordlessly on the couch for hours on end may technically count as “shared” time, it can still lack any of the meaningfulness necessary to be beneficial.

In some cases of roommate syndrome, this dynamic begins once romantic interest starts to fade, but when neither partner has the energy (or, perhaps, the courage) to end things. And for others, life simply gets in the way; careers, parenting and personal stress are top on the priority list. But, as a result, intentional time as a couple steadily becomes a matter of pragmatic cohabitation.

The depressing irony of this is that these couples, living under the same roof, may assume they’re spending more time together than ever. But this is one of many cases where quantity very rarely equates to quality.

Yes, these two individuals might share nearly every waking hour together. Yet, they may simultaneously lead two almost entirely separate lives. Their hobbies diverge. Their social circles don’t overlap in any way. Their daily routines barely intersect outside of practicalities.

From within the dynamic, recognizing this can be very disorienting. A partner might be baffled by the fact that, despite how much time they spend together, they still feel lonely.

The grim reality is that constant proximity without any real emotional engagement can feel even more isolating than physical isolation. Instead of feeling seen or cherished in any way, one (or both) begins to view the relationship as an obligation. It’s just something they “do,” because it’s just one of many parts of the routine.

2. They Talk Often, But About Nothing Of Substance

Not all communication is equal in benefits, regardless of how frequently it may occur. Couples suffering from roommate syndrome may well talk to each other each and every day, but their words are likely to fail in inviting any actual closeness.

Research published in 2021 posits that there are two main cornerstones of meaningful communication in romantic partnerships: openness and sincerity. When one partner shares with the other in honesty and candor, it usually inspires the other to do the same. But when openness disappears, even just on one side, this chain reaction is never given the chance to begin in the first place.

This feature of roommate syndrome is one that is highly unlikely to develop overnight. In most cases, the disintegration of communication occurs gradually, as intimacy and effort slip away. For some, it’s a product of dissatisfaction; for others, it’s neglect, and often sheer forgetfulness.

But with months, or years, of this dynamic going unchecked, partners will no longer see the need to turn to each other for comfort or emotional support — or may simply forget that this is something they can do. They still talk, of course, but the subject matters of these conversations have long since changed.

Instead of asking, “How are you really doing?” conversations become logistical checklists. “Who’s walking the dog today?” “Did you get a chance to pay the electric bill?” “Can you pick up a few lemons at the store?”

These exchanges, while necessary, don’t give rise to the sense of closeness that defines a romantic relationship, let alone the closeness of a friendship. When practicalities are the only things worth discussing, partners quickly take on the roles of “co-managers” of their household.

This shift is strangely numbing. Each partner is likely aware of how unfulfilled each conversation leaves them. But, they’re also aware that they no longer feel excited to talk to their partner at all. Without meaningful dialogue, nor any motivation to initiate it, they eventually stop seeing each other as confidants.

Instead, they have to seek emotional connection elsewhere. With friends, with colleagues, with their book club, with bartenders; even with strangers. Anything is better than sensing the deepening relational void back at home.

3. They Share A Bed, But Aren’t Intimate Whatsoever

Very few markers distinguish romantic partners from roommates more clearly than intimacy does. Sharing a home, divvying up chores and coordinating finances are all matters that roommates can handle with ease. What differentiates couples, however, is warmth and affection. So, when these core tenets of intimacy fade away, then there’s nothing left to differentiate their relationship from that of a pair of roommates.

A 2015 study published in Emotion Review notes that romantic relationships are distinctly characterized by various forms of closeness: physical, emotional and mental. These forms of intimacy between a couple reinforce one another; sharing their emotions with one another will enhance physical closeness in turn, and vice versa. But when closeness lacks in one domain, the others tend to weaken in equal proportion.

It goes without saying that periods of decline in intimacy aren’t at all uncommon in long-term marriages or relationships; they happen naturally, and for all sorts of reasons. The difference with roommate syndrome, however, is how long they allow this decline to persist without intervention.

Usually, these partners assume their relationship has already “checked the boxes” that matter. Exclusivity, moving in together, planning a future — they’ve already ticked off all the proverbial to-dos on the relationship list. The danger, however, is how quickly a mindset like this can enable complacency. The effort to maintain closeness is instead replaced with the false assumption that the relationship will sustain itself.

When couples stop injecting intimacy into the partnership (say, with regular touches, kisses or tender words) they risk losing the feelingof intimacy altogether as a result. And although they may still share a bed, that space can feel cold and distant when there isn’t any emotional connection between the two people within it.

For couples with roommate syndrome, this obvious lack of intimacy can be both confusing and painful. They’re technically together, in many senses of the word, but they will still question why they feel so far apart. But, sadly, this can be hard to repair once too far gone; naming the dynamic out loud can be daunting and awkward. And in refraining to do so, couples allow their relationship to continue function lovelessly.

That said, roommate syndrome doesn’t necessarily equate to the absence of love altogether. In a vast majority of cases, it’s rather the absence of intentionality. Relationships will very often shift naturally between states of passion and routine. But without any deliberate effort to nurture intimacy in the latter periods, there’s no way to prevent romantic partners from turning into logistical ones.

Loneliness is common in roommate syndrome. Take this science-backed test to find out if you’re experiencing it, too: Loneliness In Intimate Relationships Scale

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.