3 Things That The Movies Get Wrong About Relationships

The narratives you see about love within pop culture are riddled with myths. Here's why.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | August 05, 2025

Love, in all its forms, is one of the most celebrated themes in pop culture. From blockbuster movies to best-selling novels, the depiction of romance often shapes our beliefs and expectations about relationships. However, these portrayals can sometimes be misleading, setting us up for unrealistic expectations in love.

Through movies, TV shows, music and books, we are inundated with narratives that can simplify the complexities of human connection. Moreover, the portrayal of romance in popular media frequently emphasizes dramatic and fairy-tale-like elements that don't necessarily align with real-life experiences.

Here are three pop-culture myths about love that require some nuance.

1. Love Conquers All

A 2019 study found that watching television dramas and romantic movies is associated with the belief that love conquers all. Researchers found that watching soap operas also strongly predicts a belief in having a "soulmate."

However, researchers found that watching soap operas can also lead to lower levels of relationship satisfaction. This may be because they encourage "mind-reading" beliefs in relationships, where one believes that their partner should know their innermost thoughts, feelings and expectations without communicating them.

The belief that "love conquers all" suggests that love is so powerful that it can overcome any obstacle, conflict or challenge that a couple might face. In My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Toula, played by Nia Vardalos and Ian, played by John Corbett, persevere and get married despite their family's vast cultural differences.

While this belief can be inspiring and provide hope, believing that love alone can solve all problems sets unrealistic expectations for relationships and can exacerbate conflict, leading couples to overlook the importance of practical solutions, effective communication and mutual effort in addressing issues.

Individuals with such beliefs may also ignore significant red flags or harmful behaviors in their partners, thinking that their love will eventually change the situation. This can result in staying in unhealthy relationships far longer than is safe or advisable.

The belief that love should conquer all can also create immense pressure to stay in relationships out of a sense of obligation rather than genuine happiness or compatibility.

When challenges inevitably arise and love alone isn't enough to resolve them, individuals with this belief can feel disillusioned.

Love is an important and foundational aspect of a relationship, but not the sole factor that ensures its success.

2. Love Is Fated

The belief that love is fated or "destiny beliefs" suggest that relationships are preordained or meant to be. Individuals who hold these beliefs often look for their soulmate or "the one" in a partner and tend to believe this destined relationship will naturally be harmonious and effortless.

Destiny beliefs often rely on the notion that fate or destiny will bring two people together, often in a serendipitous or magical way. For instance, in Serendipity, Jonathan, played by John Cusack meets Sara, played by Kate Beckinsale, who believes in fate and allows signs from the universe to guide her actions, leading her and Jonathan to go their separate ways. Years later, after many missed opportunities, fate does bring them together.

However, in reality, relying on fate can make people passive, waiting for destiny to bring love to them rather than actively seeking it out or working on the relationships they have built.

Additionally, a 2020 study found that heavy exposure to marriage-themed reality tv is associated with stronger beliefs in "idealization" of one's partner and in "Love at First Sight," which is often just physical attraction and not enough to sustain a long-lasting relationship.

If one does not experience such an impactful first meeting with someone, it can make them dismiss potential partners who could be a great match for them.

In contrast, a study published in April in the European Journal of Personality found that while those with destiny beliefs report a sharper decline in relationship satisfaction over time, those with "growth beliefs" can slow the decline of relationship satisfaction, leading to a more fulfilling connection.

Growth beliefs in love focus on the idea that successful relationships are cultivated through effort, learning and mutual development. Individuals with growth beliefs see relationships as dynamic and evolving, requiring work and commitment from both partners. Such partners are more forgiving, committed and willing to invest effort into nurturing their relationship.

While there's nothing wrong with believing in the magic and serendipity that bring two people together, what truly matters is how you sustain the relationship after that initial meeting. Unlike many romantic movies imply, "happily ever after" isn't just about meeting or getting married; it's an ongoing process that requires continuous effort and growth.

3. Men And Women Can't Be 'Just Friends'

A study published this May in Psychological Reports found that besides encouraging destiny beliefs, watching Hallmark movies can also perpetuate the belief that friendships between men and women are problematic or impossible and will inevitably result in romantic or sexual attraction.

In When Harry Met Sally, Harry, played by Billy Crystal and Sally, played by Meg Ryan go from acquaintances to friends, despite their initial differences and finally, fall in love.

While friendship is an essential foundation for enduring love, the belief that friendships between different genders cannot remain platonic undermines the idea that individuals can connect on shared interests and values regardless of gender and invalidates the experiences of many people who successfully maintain such platonic friendships, suggesting that their relationships are either not genuine or are "exceptions to the rule."

Understanding and recognizing these romantic myths can help individuals navigate their relationships more mindfully, balancing the inspiring aspects of these beliefs with a realistic approach to relationship challenges. It is possible to appreciate the unique and serendipitous aspects of love while committing to the ongoing work necessary to nurture your relationship long-term.

Misinformed beliefs about love can destroy relationships. Take the Relationship Satisfaction Scale to know if you need professional support.

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.