3 Psychological Factors That Influence The 'Honeymoon Phase'
What is it about the 'honeymoon phase' that makes us so smitten? According to psychological research, it's these three tricks that our minds play on us.
By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | October 07, 2024
Every relationship stirs emotional experiences, but nothing compares to the rush of a new romance. A classic 1998 review published in the Handbook of Social Psychology explains that attraction is both necessary and sufficient for romantic interactions. In the early stages of romance, attraction is the primary motivator, fueling interest in the other person and engaging your mind.
While emotions rope in the heart, it's our mind that imbues these connections with psychological excitement and thrill when we enter new romantic relationships. Here are three key psychological phenomena that explain why these early moments feel so electrifying.
1. The Novelty Effect
When we first meet someone we fancy, everything about them feels new and fascinating—their quirks, stories, interests or even their lame jokes. From a psychological lens, this can be explained by "the novelty effect," where new stimuli activate the brain's reward system, releasing dopamine—the "feel-good" hormone of the body.
A 2005 study published in the Journal of Neurophysiology explains that early-stage romantic love triggers euphoria and is common across cultures. Interestingly, it is believed to stem from a mammalian drive to seek preferred mates, influencing behaviors with reproductive consequences.
2. The Thrill of Uncertainty
A major accelerator of the honeymoon phase is the unpredictability that comes with a new relationship. Not knowing where the relationship will go or how deeply your partner feels about you creates a psychological tension that can be incredibly stimulating.
Consider this instance from a 2010 study. College women were shown Facebook profiles of men who had already seen their profiles. They were told that the men either liked them a lot, liked them just a little or that the men's feelings were unclear.
While it was obvious that the women responded to the men who liked them a lot more than those who liked them only a little—it was surprising that women liked the men whose feelings were uncertain the most. The mystery made them think about them more, which increased their attraction.
This is to say that doubts about a partner's feelings can increase attraction. When people are unsure of how their partner feels, it leads to increased emotional engagement. This emotional tension activates the brain's reward system, blending anxiety with excitement, much like the thrill of riding a roller coaster for the first time. As your mind seeks clarity, it sharpens its focus on the newly found partnership, amplifying your emotions.
3. Red Flag Blindness
During the honeymoon phase, our brain tends to focus on the positive aspects of our partner, conveniently overlooking any potential "red flags." This selective focus leads us to emphasize traits we find attractive while downplaying imperfections.
To better understand this, think of how fear works. When you're afraid of something, your mind fixates on information that reinforces those fears.
A 2024 study published in Behavior Research Methods confirms that emotional states are linked to biased attention—people tend to focus on negative information when they're anxious.Similarly, when you focus on a bright future with a new partner, your mind zeroes in on their best qualities—helping you ignore potential flaws.
This bias helps build emotional bonds in the early stages of a relationship by idealizing your partner and fostering a deeper connection. It's a natural process, especially when you're emotionally invested in someone you're considering as a potential long-term partner.
A Disclaimer For The 'Honeymoon Phase'
The honeymoon phase is more than just an emotional rush—it's a blend of novelty, uncertainty and selective focus. Together, these elements create a potent mix of emotions, making new love feel like an unforgettable experience.
As exhilarating as the honeymoon phase may be—it is also temporary. Over time, novelty fades, uncertainties are resolved and red flag blindness diminishes. This isn't entirely a negative shift, it carves a space for a natural transition from the excitement of early romance to the stability of deeper emotional connections. Understanding the psychology behind this phase helps us appreciate its allure, while also recognizing that true love is built on more than just the initial spark of attraction.
Authenticity is the bridge upon which a new romance safely travels. Take the science-backed Authenticity In Relationships Scale to know how strong your bridge is.
A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here, and on PsychologyToday.com, here.