3 Dangers Of The 'Slippery Slope Fallacy' In Relationships

It's easy for doubts to start snowballing when it comes to relationships. Here's why they can become damaging when left unchecked.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | April 02, 2025

Relationships are all-consuming, and for some people, even the smallest moments can set off a spiral of worry. A delayed text, a change in tone or a quiet partner at dinner is all it takes for fear to take over. The assumption is not just that something is wrong, but that one minor issue will inevitably lead to a chain of much worse events.

This is the "slippery slope fallacy" — when a small event is believed to trigger an escalating sequence of negative consequences, even when there is no real basis for it. However, not all slippery slope arguments are fallacious. A recovering addict might reason, "If I have one drink, I'll want another, and eventually, I'll relapse." In this case, past experience supports the concern.

In relationships though, this mental trap can create unnecessary distress, especially when it's based solely on fear and assumption rather than evidence.

For instance, you might have thoughts like, "If they cancel plans today, soon they won't make time for me at all, and eventually, they'll stop loving me." Recognizing which fears are unfounded can prevent avoidable conflict and build healthier and more trusting relationships.

Here are three ways the slippery slope fallacy might be hurting your relationship and how to deal with it.

1. Slippery Slope Thinking Triggers Unnecessary Conflict

When one partner assumes the worst without concrete evidence, small misunderstandings can quickly spiral into full-blown conflicts. Instead of addressing an issue calmly, if you react through fear, it can lead to unnecessary arguments.

For example, if your partner doesn't respond to a message immediately, you might assume your partner is losing interest. Reacting with anger or withdrawal due to this assumption can lead to a cycle of misunderstandings. In reality, it's possible your partner may have simply been busy. Over time, repeated instances of this kind of thinking can create tension, making the relationship feel unstable and exhausting.

A study published this month in Scientific Reports shows that people with lower levels of mindfulness, especially men, are more likely to overestimate their partner's negative emotions — assuming the worst even when there's no real evidence.

Researchers suggest that mindfulness helps reduce this tendency by allowing individuals to see their partner's emotions more accurately, rather than exaggerating negativity or reacting impulsively.

A mindful person would be less likely to jump to conclusions and more likely to consider other possibilities (like their partner being busy), preventing unnecessary conflict.

To create a healthy relationship dynamic, it's important to pause and assess situations objectively rather than reacting impulsively. Developing this awareness encourages a deeper understanding of your partner's emotions, ultimately strengthening the relationship's security and stability.

A healthy relationship thrives not on certainty but on trust, where partners choose to interpret each other's actions with curiosity rather than catastrophe.

2. Slippery Slope Thinking Fuels A Fear Of Change

People with strong slippery slope beliefs tend to assume that one small change will lead to inevitable, uncontrollable negative consequences. You might find yourself thinking, "If my partner is changing now, it means they'll become a completely different person, and our relationship will fall apart."

Research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found when one partner expected change but the other didn't, relationship quality suffered.

People who engage in slippery slope thinking are more likely to struggle in relationships when their partner changes. Instead of seeing growth as natural, they fear it will have disastrous consequences. Learning to reframe change as neutral or even positive — rather than assuming it will harm the relationship — can help maintain emotional safety and stability.

For instance, a person might think, "Ifmy partner starts working out more, they'll meet new people, become distant and eventually leave me." This is a slippery slope belief — assuming that one small shift (working out) will inevitably lead to something extreme (a breakup).

When you catch yourself assuming the worst, ask yourself, "Is there real evidence for this, or am I jumping to conclusions?" Replace catastrophic thoughts with more balanced ones, like, "My partner working out doesn't mean they'll leave me. It's just something they enjoy and makes them happy."

If you're feeling anxious about change, talk to your partner instead of assuming the worst. Express concerns without blaming — "I've been feeling uneasy about this change. Can we talk about it?"

Instead of viewing change as a threat, view it as an opportunity for both partners to evolve. Remind yourself that healthy relationships allow space for individual growth without sacrificing emotional security.

3. Slippery Slope Thinking Breeds Insecurity And Control

When fear-driven assumptions take over, they can lead to a heightened sense of insecurity and a need to control the relationship. If you believe that small issues will escalate into worst-case scenarios, you may feel the urge to micromanage your partner's actions or seek constant reassurance.

For example, if your partner makes a new friend, you might think, "They'll enjoy their company more than mine, start spending less time with me and eventually leave." This fear-based thinking can result in behaviors like checking their phone, needing frequent validation or setting unnecessary restrictions — all of which can strain the relationship.

A 2017 study published in Current Opinion in Psychology highlights that heightened sensitivity to threats in the relationship can lead you to seek excessive reassurance, ruminate over worst-case scenarios and misinterpret your partner's actions as signs of rejection. This leads to micromanaging or controlling the relationship out of fear, as anxious individuals become preoccupied with maintaining closeness and reducing perceived threats. However, these behaviors can weigh on your relationship by overwhelming your partner and reinforcing a cycle of insecurity.

Instead of letting insecurity dictate your actions, try grounding yourself in reality. Ask yourself, "Do I have actual evidence that my partner is pulling away, or is this my fear talking?"

Instead of acting on worst-case scenarios, focus on open communication and self-soothing strategies to manage distress. Ultimately, grounding yourself in reality and addressing concerns with patience and respect can strengthen your relationship rather than strain it.

Breaking Free From Slippery Slope Thinking

When you challenge irrational fears with curiosity rather than control, you create a foundation of trust rather than tension.

A healthy relationship is built on mutual understanding, not constant reassurance. The next time you catch yourself spiraling into worst-case scenarios, pause and ask: "Is this fear or fact?" Shifting your mindset from catastrophe to calm consideration can help you approach challenges with a clear head and a compassionate heart.

If you find that these thought patterns are deeply ingrained and difficult to manage alone, seeking support through therapy, engaging in deeper self-reflection and building on mindfulness practices can help you develop healthier ways of thinking and responding in relationships.

Are you curious to know whether your relationship is genuinely thriving? Take this science-backed test to find out: Relationship Flourishing Scale

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.