2 Signs That You Should Marry Your Best Friend
Marriage requires friendship to stand the test of time. Here's why your spouse should be your friend above being your lover.
By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | September 30, 2024
When it comes to choosing a life partner, it's easy to get swept up in the romance, passion and butterflies in your stomach. But what if the secret to a long-lasting, deeply fulfilling marriage is less about intense chemistry and more about having a rock-solid friendship? While love is the spark that ignites many relationships, it seems it's friendship that truly fuels the fire for the long haul.
Here are two reasons why friendship is essential to the longevity and success of a marriage, according to research.
1. Friendship Creates Highly Satisfying Marriages
A 2017 study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that being married can significantly increase life satisfaction and well-being throughout your lives together, especially when your spouse is also your best friend.
In a loving marriage, it's the shared laughter, mutual respect and deep emotional intimacy that truly make a difference. When couples build their relationship on friendship, they create a sturdy foundation that helps them weather life's challenges together.
While fiery chemistry or physical attraction can fade over time, friendship offers a more enduring source of connection. Couples who genuinely enjoy each other's company, share similar values and find joy in simple moments together often experience greater happiness in the long run.
Even if you and your partner have differences, it's the respect and appreciation for each other's uniqueness that binds you. A strong friendship fosters patience, empathy and understanding—qualities that are crucial for a long-term, fulfilling partnership.
"Those whose spouse or partner is also considered their best friend get almost twice as much additional life satisfaction from marriage or cohabitation as do others. One's partner provides unique social support for each challenge one faces in life," the researchers explain, calling such spouses "super-friends" due to this positive effect.
Whether you're facing challenges at work, in your family life or in your personal growth, knowing that your partner has your back adds an invaluable layer of security and fulfillment to your life.
2. Friendship Protects Your Love Long-Term
Research shows that couples who place greater value on friendship within their relationship tend to experience greater commitment, love and sexual satisfaction.
"Perhaps for love to increase over time, it is not enough to only place importance on friendship, but one must also invest in the friendship," the researchers suggest.
In fact, the more couples invest in their friendship—whether through creating shared memories, future plans, offering mutual support or just enjoying each other's company—the more they reap the relational benefits, and create a buffer against common relationship challenges, such as conflict or dissatisfaction.
When the initial spark of infatuation fades or when external stressors start to weigh on the relationship, having a solid friendship can help keep you connected. Interestingly, couples who place greater importance on their friendship over other aspects of the relationship, like sexual or personal needs, are also less likely to break up.
Prioritizing friendship doesn't mean that romance or passion falls to the wayside. Rather, it acts as the glue that holds the romance together, ensuring that love continues to grow and evolve. Investing in this friendship means investing in the long-term health and happiness of your relationship.
In the end, the real magic of marrying your best friend lies in the quiet, everyday moments—the conversations that flow effortlessly, the inside jokes that only the two of you share and the sense of being completely understood by someone who knows you better than anyone else.
It turns out that true relationship success isn't just about finding someone who makes your heart race; it's about finding someone who you love and like—someone who makes life's journey richer, more fun and more meaningful.
Curious about how satisfying your relationship is? Take this test to learn more: Relationship Satisfaction Scale
A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here, and on PsychologyToday.com, here.