Want To Know Your 'Emotional Quotient'? These 10 Questions Can Tell You

Ever wondered how emotionally intelligent you really are? Here's how to find out.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | May 30, 2024

While it may be underrated, emotional intelligence is a key skill for effectively navigating life. Rooted in research, emotional intelligence is an ability that involves perceiving, understanding, managing and expressing one's own emotions, as well as influencing and responding to the emotions of others.

The concept of emotional intelligence might seem abstract but it is crucial for personal and professional success. People with high emotional intelligence are adept at managing stress, collaborating with others and navigating social complexities, leading to better outcomes in various aspects of life.

Consider a scenario where you're in a high-pressure work environment. A colleague makes a critical error that impacts your project. How do you react? Do you get angry and lash out, or do you manage your emotions, communicate effectively and work towards a solution? Your reaction can significantly impact the outcome and your relationships at work.

This ability to navigate emotional challenges is what emotional intelligence is all about. It's not just about feeling good but about using emotional information to guide thinking and behavior effectively. Recognized as a key factor in leadership, teamwork and personal well-being, emotional intelligence is an invaluable asset.

How Can Emotional Intelligence Be Measured?

Recognizing the importance of emotional intelligence, Dr. Reuven Bar-On developed the Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-i)—a self-report tool designed to assess emotional and social intelligence. The Emotional Quotient Inventory evaluates emotional intelligence through a series of statements that you rate based on your level of agreement.

Taking the EQ-i can be a significant step towards improving your emotional literacy. Below are ten statements that, when rated on a scale from strongly disagree to strongly agree, help one gauge their emotional self-awareness—a critical aspect of emotional intelligence (a link to take the test can be found at the bottom of the article).

I act confidently when I have some relevant expertise or experience.
I take decisions without approval or support.
I can evaluate when I am close to the limit of my capabilities.
I share with others when I am uneasy about taking on tasks.
I manage how much pressure I put myself under.
I identify when I am starting to feel under pressure.
I am open about the emotional impact events may have had on me.
I recognize when my feelings may be impacting on my judgment.
I anticipate accurately my reaction to events.
I admit when my behavior may have been unreasonable.

By providing a clear measure of how you perceive and respond to various emotional situations, the Emotional Quotient Inventory identifies specific strengths and areas for improvement. This targeted feedback allows you to understand how well you recognize your own emotional states, how they influence your behavior and how you can better manage them.

Once you're aware of your level of emotional awareness, you can then start working on your emotional intelligence in a streamlined and informed way. Here are three steps to get you started.

1. Examine Your Emotional Landscape With Microscopic Attention

Reflect on your feelings to gain insights into your emotional patterns and triggers. This would allow you to manage your reactions more effectively. Here's how you can get started:

Daily journaling. Spend a few minutes each day writing about your emotional experiences. Note what happened, how you felt and how you reacted. This practice can help you recognize patterns in your emotional responses.
Mindfulness meditation. Engage in mindfulness exercises that focus on observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This can increase your awareness of your emotional state and help you stay present in the moment.
Self-assessment tools. Use tools like the Emotional Quotient Inventory or other emotional intelligence assessments to periodically evaluate your progress and identify areas for improvement.

2. Ask Others About How They Feel Around And About You

Sometimes, others can see things about us that we might miss. So, seek honest feedback from people you trust to evaluate your emotional behavior. Here is what you can do:

360-degree feedback. This approach involves gathering insights from colleagues, friends and family who observe you in various contexts, offering a well-rounded perspective on your emotional intelligence. By collecting feedback from diverse sources, you gain multiple perspectives, revealing blind spots in your emotional awareness and providing a balanced assessment of your strengths and weaknesses.
Active listening. When receiving feedback, practice active listening. Focus on understanding the feedback without becoming defensive. Reflect on what you hear and consider how you can apply it to improve your emotional intelligence

3. Exercise Your Empathy Muscle

Practicing empathy can improve your social interactions and relationships, making you more attuned to the emotions and needs of those around you. Here's how you can go about it:

Perspective-taking. Make a conscious effort to see situations from others' perspectives. Ask yourself how they might be feeling and why they might be reacting in a certain way.
Emotional validation. Acknowledge and validate the emotions of others. This can be as simple as saying, "I can see why you would feel that way," which helps build trust and rapport.
Empathic listening. Listen not just to the words people say but also to the emotions behind them. Respond with empathy, showing that you understand and care about their feelings.

Emotional intelligence is a key component of a fulfilling and successful life. The Emotional Quotient Inventory offers a structured way to assess and improve your emotional literacy. By focusing on developing your emotional intelligence, you can enhance your personal and professional relationships, manage stress more effectively and make more balanced decisions. Remember, emotional intelligence is not just about understanding emotions but using that understanding to navigate life's challenges with grace and empathy.

Curious about your emotional awareness levels? Take the Emotional Quotient Inventory to gain clarity.

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.