5 Ways To Protect Yourself From 'Dating Burnout'

Feeling drained by dating apps, or even just the dating scene itself? Here's how to prevent them from burning you out.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | October 14, 2024

According to a recent survey conducted by Forbes Health and OnePoll, a staggering 79% of Gen Z report feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted from swiping through endless profiles.

While dating apps offer the allure of finding love at your fingertips, the constant interaction, lack of genuine connections and the pressure to maintain a perfect online presence are taking a toll on users' well-being.

What Causes Dating Burnout?

For some, the dating app journey can be exciting—matching with someone they share a connection with, chatting online and eventually meeting in person a few times before officially starting a relationship.

On the other hand, many users swipe through hundreds of profiles, unable to find the connection they're looking for, leading to feelings of frustration and exhaustion.

Here are some of the common causes contributing to dating app burnout, as mentioned by the survey:

• Inability to find a good connection. Forty percent of respondents cited this as a primary cause of dating fatigue.
• Ghosting and deception. Forty-one percent of users reported being ghosted, and 38% experienced catfishing, both contributing to feelings of mistrust and emotional exhaustion.
• Disappointment and rejection. Thirty-five percent of respondents reported disappointment from failed connections, while 27% noted feelings of rejection.
• Repetitive conversations. Twenty-four percent of respondents found engaging in the same small talk with multiple matches to be draining.
• Swiping fatigue. Twenty-two percent of users mentioned that continuously swiping through potential matches led to emotional exhaustion.

Other causes include experiences of cheating, racism, sexism, abusive behavior, love bombing, gaslighting and the pressure to present themselves in a certain way to attract matches, all of which contributed to dating burnout.

If you're facing any of these challenges, here are five ways to reclaim your mental peace and overcome dating burnout—without losing hope of finding a potential partner.

1. Limit Your Time On Dating Apps

To avoid emotional exhaustion from dating apps, experts recommend limiting your time spent on them to manageable intervals, such as 30 minutes at a time. Taking breaks from dating apps periodically can also help reset your mental and emotional well-being.

Moreover, before swiping endlessly, it's better to focus on the people you've already found a connection with. "People binge, and that is what exhausts them," said Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and chief science advisor to Match.com, in an interview with The New York Times.

2. Reassessing Your Motivation For Intentional Dating

One key step to overcoming dating burnout is reassessing your motivations for using dating apps. It's easy to fall into the habit of mindlessly swiping or seeking connections out of boredom or loneliness rather than with a clear intention.

Understanding why you're on the app can help refocus your approach. Ask yourself:

• Am I using this app to genuinely find a meaningful connection, or is it more out of boredom or habit?
• What am I looking for in a partner, and are my actions on the app aligned with that goal?
• Am I using dating apps to cope with anxiety, and am I settling for hookups out of fear of being single?

This might mean limiting the number of matches or being more intentional about the conversations you pursue. By setting specific goals and boundaries, you can approach dating with more clarity and purpose rather than out of boredom or fear.

3. Focusing On Real Life Interactions To Avoid Deception

Many users report feeling deceived and disappointed after getting emotionally invested in someone over text, only to discover that the person had been dishonest.

This behavior often leaves users emotionally drained and disillusioned. To overcome the emotional toll of online deception, focusing on real-life interactions is essential.

Face-to-face meetings foster authentic connections and reduce the risk of disappointment that often comes with relying solely on digital communication. Meeting in person allows for a more genuine assessment of compatibility.

4. Being Authentic To Filter Unwanted Matches

You are unique, and comparing yourself to others on dating apps can quickly lead to emotional exhaustion, especially when you're not finding a suitable match.

Dating apps often feel like a competition to create the perfect profile that stands out, leading many to follow stereotypes instead of staying true to themselves. This pressure can push you to conform and present a version of yourself that doesn't reflect who you really are.

To avoid this, it's better to craft a profile that authentically represents you—whether it's your personality, your charming smile or your quirky side—so you attract matches who appreciate the real you.

5. Simply Taking Some Time Off To Recover

Just like work burnout, dating burnout often comes from overexertion without meaningful outcomes. Constant swiping or managing multiple matches can leave you drained. Sometimes, it's not just one issue but a mix of frustrations—maybe someone ghosted you after things got serious, or you were catfished by someone you trusted.

When you invest so much time and energy into dead ends, the exhaustion can feel overwhelming. Taking a break from dating apps to focus on self-care can help you reset. This doesn't mean your dating life is doomed; it just means you need time and space to recharge.

Dating burnout can feel discouraging, but it's not a permanent state. Think of this phase as a signal to pause, reflect and reconnect with what truly matters—whether that's finding a partner or simply enjoying the journey.

Do you think the fear of being single forever is haunting your dating life? Take this science-backed test to find out: Fear Of Being Single Scale

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here, and on PsychologyToday.com, here.