2 Ways To Improve Your 'Digital Body Language' For An Easier Dating Life

Body language can transcend the physical world, and can enter the realm of online dating. Here's how to be mindful of it.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | September 02, 2024

If you've ever found yourself agonizing over a late response to your text message or dissecting the tone of a message with no emojis, you're not alone.

"Digital body language" or "DBL" refers to the nonverbal cues and behaviors people exhibit in online, text-based communication. Just as physical body language conveys emotions, attitudes and intentions, digital body language can be interpreted based on someone's response time, word choice, message length, punctuation, tone or emojis used.

These subtle cues speak volumes about who we are, conveying a person's engagement, interest or romantic feelings. From how quickly you respond to a message to the tone you use in your texts, your DBL can make or break a potential connection.

When you're dating online, all you have to go on is someone's DBL, which significantly impacts the relationship's progression. According to Hinge's first Gen Z report on the top dating trends in 2024, 69% of users relied on digital body language to decide whether they would go on a date with someone.

Here are two ways to enhance your digital body language and form meaningful connections with potential partners.

1. Don't Be Afraid To Appear Emotionally Available

Emotional availability involves being open to connection, willing to share your thoughts and feelings and making space for meaningful conversations with your potential partner. Good DBL is essential to communicating emotional availability. In fact,77% of Hinge daters reported that DBL reveals a lot about a match's intentions and interest in them.

Timely, enthusiastic responses and thoughtful word choices can make potential partners feel more connected and valued. Conversely, poor DBL, such as delayed responses, curt replies or inconsistent communication can make them feel ignored or unimportant, leading to a breakdown in trust.

For instance, in response to receiving one-word answers, Hinge dater Stacy Thiru feels: "You just hate me. I'll stop texting you ASAP."

Additionally, a 2023 study published in Psychological Reports found that when we perceive partners as caring and responsive, it strongly enhances relationship satisfaction. Establishing a pattern of positive and engaging digital body language early on creates a foundation of warmth and emotional safety, which is crucial for deepening connections.

Here are a few ways to convey emotional availability through DBL:

Be responsive. If you leave messages unread or wait too long to reply without explanation, it can create uncertainty and make the other person question your level of interest. Being prompt doesn't mean you need to be available 24/7, but consistent replies show that you're emotionally present and invested in the conversation.
Be engaging. Instead of short, one-word answers, invite further dialogue, ask open-ended questions, share your experiences and build on what the other person has said. This shows that you're not just passively participating in the conversation, but you're willing to connect on a deeper level.
Be vulnerable. Research shows that using a direct approach to signal romantic interest is more likely to lead to a date than a "safer," more evasive one. Whether it's excitement, curiosity or even nervousness, be open about your emotions. Sharing hopes, dreams or past experiences also allows the other person to feel more comfortable reciprocating.

"If you text very little but your messages have substance, I'll take that any day of the week over someone who texts a lot and still says very little. Surface-level conversations only go so far and prevent people from having genuine connections. If someone can text consistently with some substance, I'M HOOKED!," explains one Hinge Dater.

2. Be Proactive In Pursuing Connections

Being proactive in your dating practices demonstrates that you're actively contributing to the relationship-building process.

"Hinge daters are inclined to try to play it cool with their messaging habits. In fact, they're 50% more likely than millennials to delay responding to a match to avoid seeming overeager," the report explains. However, this approach is highly unlikely to result in a long-lasting relationship.

"I gravitate towards people who find a way to make it clear they're invested in the conversation, using emojis, exclamation marks and just generally showing enthusiasm. When I first met my boyfriend on Hinge, he found ways to break the barriers of hesitant texting. Once I felt him engaged in the conversation, it became far easier for me to open up and express interest," says another Hinge dater.

Here are a few ways to demonstrate continued interest and proactively build on your relationship through DBL.

Initiate conversations. According to the Hinge report, 3 out of 4 daters viewed initiating a conversation as a clear sign of interest. Don't wait for the other person to make the first move—take the initiative to start conversations.
Follow up. Don't let conversations fizzle out. If there's a lull, be the one to reignite the conversation with an insightful question or by referencing something you discussed earlier. This shows that you're attentive and genuinely care about maintaining the connection.
Plan ahead. Suggesting plans or dates, even if they're virtual, shows that you're committed to moving the relationship forward. For example, you could propose a video chat, a virtual movie night or a casual meet-up in real life.

So, as you strike up a conversation with your next match, remember that what you "say" through your digital body language might just be the key to dating better—and deeper—than before.

Dating online can be a great way to meet people, but we can overdo it. Take this test to learn whether your dating app use is reaching unhealthy levels: Problematic Tinder Use Scale

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.