Intimacy Avoidance Test – Are You Afraid of Getting Too Close?

A self-reflection tool for understanding discomfort with emotional intimacy.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | Last Updated: March 19, 2026

Emotional closeness is a cornerstone of healthy romantic relationships, yet for many people it can feel unsettling or even threatening. If opening up, sharing personal struggles, or relying on a partner feels difficult, you may be experiencing avoidance around intimacy. This assessment explores how safe and comfortable emotional vulnerability feels for you in close relationships.

This test is designed to help you reflect on common thoughts and feelings that arise when emotional closeness deepens.

If this topic resonates, you may also find it helpful to explore our Authenticity in Relationships Scale and the Loneliness in Intimate Relationships Scale, which examine related aspects of emotional connection.

Take The Fear Of Intimacy Scale

For each statement, indicate how much you agree. For best results, answer honestly and trust your first instinct.

1. I feel anxious about emotional closeness changing or fading.

2. I struggle to clearly express my emotional needs to a partner.

3. Open and honest emotional communication feels challenging for me.

4. I don’t always feel free to be my full self in close relationships.

5. Talking about my personal goals with a partner makes me uncomfortable.

6. I feel uneasy revealing past experiences that still make me feel embarrassed or ashamed.

7. Talking about emotionally painful events with a partner makes me uncomfortable.

8. I tend to hold back my true emotions in close romantic relationships.

9. Sharing my deepest feelings with a partner feels risky to me.

10. I avoid discussing major personal problems with someone I’m dating.

11. I struggle to talk openly about sad or vulnerable experiences from my life.

12. It is difficult for me to fully open up about my personal thoughts.

13. I hesitate to tell a partner what I dislike about myself.

14. I prefer keeping very personal details to myself, even in close relationships.

15. I avoid sharing things with a partner that I wouldn’t tell most people.

16. Trusting someone with my deepest emotions feels uncomfortable.

17. I feel uneasy revealing my perceived flaws or weaknesses.

18. I worry about sharing private thoughts, even with someone close to me.

19. I become emotionally distant when a relationship starts to feel too intense or dependent.

Now, enter your demographics to see how you stack up against others.

First Name

Age

Gender

Region

References

Inspired by work by Ingersoll, T. S., Poulin, J., Deng, R., Shan, X., Witt, H., & Swain, M. (2012). Fear of intimacy with helping professionals scale. Journal of Evidence-Based Social Work, 9(4), 317–332.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does this scale take?
It takes a few minutes to complete.

Are my responses private?
Yes, all responses are anonymized and confidential.

Can I take this test more than once?
Yes, you can retake the test any time to see how your results may have changed.

Disclaimer

This scale is designed for entertainment purposes and is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment.

Intimacy Avoidance Test – Are You Afraid of Getting Too Close?

Take The Fear Of Intimacy Scale

Now, enter your demographics to see how you stack up against others.

References

Frequently Asked Questions

Disclaimer

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