Fear of Intimacy Scale

Are you scared to get too close to others? Take this test to find out.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | July 22, 2024

For most people, intimacy in relationships is necessary to live a fulfilling life. Intimacy is the emotional connection and closeness shared between individuals. Through intimacy, people experience trust, understanding, and affection. However, despite all the positives, some people experience a deep fear of intimacy.

The fear of intimacy is an emotional response that prevents individuals from becoming emotionally or physically close to others. It is not that these people do not want to experience closeness, but they are scared to be vulnerable. This fear can manifest as reluctance to share personal thoughts and feelings, avoidance of physical closeness, or difficulty committing to relationships. It is often rooted in a fear of vulnerability, rejection, or abandonment.

The Fear of Intimacy Scale (FIS) is a reliable test developed to help measure individuals' anxiety about close dating relationships. The FIS helps identify specific areas of discomfort and underlying issues that contribute to this fear. The FIS provides valuable insights for sufferers and is crucial in overcoming intimacy-related challenges.

You can take this test here. Follow all of the steps to receive your results.

Step 1: Imagine you are in a close, dating relationship. Respond to the following statements as you would if you were in that close relationship. Rate how reflective each statement is of you on a scale of “not at all reflective” to “very reflective” as described below.

1. I would feel uncomfortable telling them about things in the past that I have felt ashamed of.

2. I would feel uneasy talking with them about something that has hurt me deeply.

3. I wouldn't feel comfortable expressing my true feelings to them.

4. I might be afraid to confide my innermost feelings to them.

5. I wouldn't be comfortable discussing significant problems with them.

6. I wouldn't feel comfortable telling my experiences, especially sad ones, to them.

7. I would find it difficult being open with them about my personal thoughts.

8. I would be afraid to share with them what I dislike about myself.

9. I would feel comfortable not sharing very personal information with them.

10. I wouldn't feel comfortable telling them things that I do not tell other people.

11. I wouldn't feel comfortable trusting them with my deepest thoughts and feelings.

12. I wouldn't be comfortable revealing to them what I feel are my shortcomings and handicaps.

13. I would be afraid of sharing my private thoughts with them.

14. I wouldn't be afraid that I might not always feel close to them.

15. I wouldn't be comfortable telling them what my needs are.

16. I would feel uncomfortable about having open and honest communication with them.

17. I wouldn't feel at ease to completely be myself around them.

18. I wouldn't feel comfortable talking about my personal goals with them.

Step 2: Enter your age, gender, region, and first name so we can provide you with a detailed report that compares your test scores to people similar to you.

What is your age?

What is your gender?

What region of the world do you live in?

What is your first name?

Step 3: Check to make sure you've provided answers to all of the statements/questions above. Once you've done that, click the button below to send your responses to Awake Therapy's Lead Psychologist, Mark Travers, Ph.D. He will provide you with an overview of how you scored relative to others (all answers are anonymized and confidential to protect users' privacy). He can also answer any follow-up questions you may have.

References: Ingersoll, T. S., Poulin, J., Deng, R., Shan, X., Witt, H., & Swain, M. (2them12). Fear of Intimacy with Helping Professionals Scale: Reliability and Validity of English and Mandarin Versions. Journal of Evidence-Based Social Work, 9(4), 317–332.