This psychology-based test reveals the relationship strength you naturally bring to love.
What Is Your Healthiest Relationship Pattern?
Everyone brings something valuable to love. Find out the trait that makes you a secure, supportive, and standout partner.
By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | Last Updated:
If we were to consolidate the majority of research about love and romantic relationships, we would find three broad factors that influence the quality of a bond and the interpersonal interaction within it. These are:
- How quickly someone addresses tension in a relationship
- Whether they express care through action or words
- Whether they focus on details or the big picture
This isn't just pop psychology; decades of research on communication patterns, personality traits and relationship satisfaction provide a scientific backbone for these constructs, and suggest that they play a significant role in shaping relational outcomes.
Before delving into the science, you can take my quick 8-question Green Flag Personality Test here to see how your own interpersonal preferences map onto these dimensions and what that might mean for your healthiest relationship quality.
Why Your Relationship Skillset Matters
Research consistently finds that communication and behavior patterns are central to relationship satisfaction and stability. Conflict resolution skills, as well as their interaction with personality traits, predict more than half of the variance in relationship satisfaction over time in couples, highlighting the nuanced role individual differences play in how a relationship fares over time.
More broadly, a 2020 BMC Psychology study examining the link between personality and marital satisfaction has found that high levels of traits such as conscientiousness and agreeableness are strongly associated with greater relationship satisfaction, while traits like neuroticism correlate with lower satisfaction.
These findings underline the fact that the ways people approach problems, communicate affection and pay attention to details aren't random quirks. They are the behavioral markers that can decide the fate of your relationship, no matter how much two partners love each other.
In addition to personality traits, attachment research has shaped our understanding of relationship dynamics for decades. Patterns of emotional bonding formed in early life (namely secure, anxious and avoidant attachment styles) carry into adult romantic behavior, influencing how people seek closeness, handle conflict and regulate emotions.
Collectively, this body of research supports the idea that relationship satisfaction isn't a one-size-fits-all skillset that you can plug and play. It's a function of interaction styles that are shaped by personality, cognitive flexibility and communication preferences.
The Three Types Of Relationship 'Green Flags'
The 8-question Green Flag Personality Test is built on three core dimensions that have strong theoretical and empirical grounding in psychological science:
- Immediate problem-solving vs. patient space-giving. Research on conflict communication patterns underscores that the speed with which people address issues and how meaningfully they do it both influence satisfaction over time. People who confront issues immediately may prevent resentment buildup, while those who give space may allow more thoughtful processing before reengaging, and both strategies can be adaptive in different contexts.
- Action-oriented vs. verbal affirmation. Affection Exchange Theory posits that affectionate interactions are not merely social niceties, but biologically adaptive behaviors that promote bonding and well-being. Expressing care through words and actions (or both) can be grounded in these evolved communication systems.
- Detail-remembering vs. big-picture focus. Remembering small preferences or narratives about someone may signal a high level of engagement in the relationship micro-environment, while big-picture focus may signal shared goals and vision.
Individually, none of these dimensions fully predict relational outcomes. Together, they offer a profile, a constellation of interpersonal preferences that reflects how someone tends to be in relationships.
How These Questions Capture Your Best Relationship 'Green Flag'
The test distills these dimensions into a short, practical format. It assesses whether you tend to:
- Approach tension head-on, or let things unfold with patience
- Show affection through deeds or through verbal expression
- Recall and act on specific details, or focus on overarching themes
Because these tendencies map onto research-supported constructs, they provide a scientifically-informed snapshot of relationship style that's both accessible and actionable.
For instance, someone who is action-oriented and immediate in addressing issues may excel at preventing escalation in conflict but might need to balance this with sensitivity to others' processing needs. Conversely, someone who prioritizes words and long-term perspective may foster emotional closeness yet need to ensure practical concerns aren't overlooked.
It's important to note that these styles aren't inherently "good" or "bad." They are profiles that can help individuals understand how they operate, and how they can adapt for healthier interactions.
The ultimate promise of this test isn't about categorizing people into tidy boxes, but about helping individuals gain self-insight grounded in research. Even decades of attachment research suggest that patterns once considered fixed can shift with experience, awareness and intentional effort.
But recognizing your default approaches, whether immediate or patient, action-based or verbal, detail-focused or big-picture, can empower you to develop more flexible, effective ways of connecting.
Ultimately, understanding relationship style isn't just about introspection; it's about functional improvement informed by science.
If you're curious about how your own relationship style fits into this framework, and what your interpersonal strengths and challenges might be, take the Green Flag Personality Test.