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How To Tell If You're Truly Ready For A Relationship

Research reveals that if you're unsure about stepping into the dating world, you should ask what your friends think.


Mark Travers, Ph.D.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | March 10, 2025

The beauty of singlehood is that it allows us ample time to truly get to know ourselves—our wants, needs, desires and values. But once this process of self-introspection comes to fruition, it's natural to play around with the idea of finding someone to settle down with.

That said, after a lengthy period of being alone—and not worrying about anyone else—the thought of a committed relationship can be intimidating. You may think you're ready (and may well be) but hesitate out of fear. This back and forth between feeling ready and feeling unsure can last longer than you'd imagine—at least, without guidance.

Fortunately, February 2025 research from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships reveals a simple, wholesome and reliable way to truly know if you're ready to commit to a relationship: asking your friends.

The Role Your Friends Play In Your Love Life

As the lead author of the study, Hyewon Yang, explains in an interview with PsyPost, "We often have an inner sense of our readiness for committed love, but feeling ready doesn't guarantee a relationship." In other words, our own feelings alone aren't enough to feel confident in taking steps toward commitment.

In such cases, the next natural step is to seek guidance from friends and family—who often provide us with surprisingly helpful, assuring insights. Yet, the usefulness of their insights isn't all that surprising. As Yang explains, "Friends play a key role in forming and maintaining romantic relationships—from introductions to advice."

Classic research from the Journal of Marriage and Family supports this idea. According to the 1992 study, friends play an integral, positive role in our romantic relationships; perceived support from one's own friends was found to have a large influence on romantic satisfaction, love and commitment.

While it may seem like the inner workings of a relationship are solely contingent on the two romantic partners, our friends silently yet strongly help us along the way through:

  • Emotional support. When friends approve of and support our relationship, it reinforces our confidence in our partner and the relationship itself. External validation can be incredibly helpful in taming our doubts and, in turn, strengthening commitment.
  • Advice. True friends are our greatest sounding boards; they offer the most compassionate advice of all when we face challenges in our relationship, as they always have our best interest at heart. Their perspectives can be enlightening when it comes to disagreements, fears or challenges that we hesitate to bring up to our partners.
  • Social integration. Being part of a supportive social circle—or even just having mutual friends—can make a romantic relationship feel far more enjoyable and integrated into one's overall life. In some cases, friends can even be the ones who introduce us to our eventual partners.
  • Facilitating stability. As the 1992 study notes, the perception of network support is particularly influential in terms of relationship stability—especially for women. Likely, this is because we pay special attention to social cues; our friends' approval (or disapproval) of our partners can profoundly shape our own perceptions of our relationship.
  • Encouraging compatibility. Our friends are usually first to spot the red flags or compatibility issues that we tend to overlook in the early stages of infatuation. Their input can be incredibly helpful in making good long-term decisions about our partners.

Friends' Assessment Of 'Commitment Readiness' Vs. Our Own

Outside of these roles, however, our friends play one very important role in our relationships—and adeptly at that. Specifically, according to Yang's study, friends are experts at assessing our "commitment readiness." As its name suggests, this refers to how prepared we are—in terms of maturity, emotions or even just life stages—to be in a committed, long-term relationship.

Often, our own gauge of readiness can be impacted by bias: extended periods of loneliness can make us feel like we're ready before we actually are, whereas past negative romantic experiences can mistakenly make us feel unprepared.

As such, Yang was interested in assessing how well friends could assess an individual's commitment readiness—and how closely they matched the individual's own perceptions thereof. After studying 772 participants—193 friend groups of four—the results were threefold:

  1. Friends were found to exhibit strong levels of agreement in terms of commitment readiness assessments—that is, all friends came to similar conclusions about how ready the individual was to commit.
  2. The friends' assessments were fairly accurate; friends of individuals with anxious or avoidant attachment styles were able to tell that they weren't quite ready for a relationship as of yet.
  3. These assessments weren't far off from the individual's perception of their own readiness; if they felt ready, their friends sensed it too.

Reflecting on these findings, Yang noted, "It was very interesting to see that how our friends perceive our readiness for a committed relationship overlapped pretty much with what we think about our readiness." Continuing, she concluded, "So, it may suggest that we are not overly biased about how ready we are for a relationship."

How To Tell If You're Ready For A Relationship

As Yang's findings suggest, if you feel like you're ready for a relationship, chances are—you probably are. Don't discount your internal sense of readiness as a mere hunch; more often than not, it's a strong psychological indicator that you've reached a stage where love and commitment are natural next steps.

More importantly, research backs this up: our close friends often see the same readiness in us. In other words, it confirms that we give off visible signs of emotional availability and stability.

But, while this may sound reassuring, self-doubt can always find a way to cloud our judgment. Even when we consciously feel prepared for commitment, our minds can still waver—especially if past heartbreaks or long stretches of singlehood have made us overly cautious or eager.

You may find yourself second-guessing your own judgment: "Am I really ready? Or am I just craving companionship?" Thankfully, this is where your friends can step in to provide you with honest and insightful guidance.

If you're on the fence, there's no harm in asking a trusted friend who knows you well: "Do you think I'm ready for a relationship?" Their response might reinforce what you already feel deep down inside—or offer a perspective you haven't yet considered.

Friends hold a very unique and sacred place in your life; they've seen your growth, your struggles and your healing process. They know how you've talked about past relationships, how you've handled setbacks and whether you seem genuinely excited about the idea of love again. In some cases, their outside perspective might even be the missing piece of reassurance you need to move forward with confidence.

Of course, no one—friends included—can make the decision for you. But if those closest to you see that you're ready, why not trust them? More often than not, we put more stock in external validation than our own gut feelings. If the people who care about you and want the best for you say you're ready, then maybe it's time to take that leap.

Do your friends' assessments of your relationship match your own? Take this science-backed test to find out: Relationship Satisfaction Scale

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.

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