6 Reasons Why 'Delayed Parenthood' Is Becoming The Norm

For more and more couples, parenthood has become more of an 'if' than a 'when.' Here's why, according to new research.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | April 16, 2025

Parenthood used to be seen as an inevitable life stage. Sooner or later, once you hit the right age or met the right person, you'd be ready for it. But that expectation is starting to unravel. For more and more people, having a child has become a matter of if, rather than when.

Financial pressures, career ambitions and unstable housing markets are often cited as major reasons people delay having their first child. However, new research from Frontiers in Psychology suggests there may be far deeper, psychological motives at play in this hesitation.

In an interview with the lead authors of the study — Małgorzata Szcześniak, Celina Timoszyk-Tomczak and Adam Falewicz — it became clear that delayed parenthood is no longer solely an economically driven choice. Now, it seems to involve a range of personal, emotional and existential concerns that go far beyond the usual headlines.

These are the six most common reasons why so many people are putting off parenthood, according to the study.

1. 'I Don't Feel Ready'

One of the most common internal barriers is the belief that you're simply not prepared for parenthood — emotionally, mentally or practically. It's a deep, sometimes paralyzing fear that you won't be good enough, or that you won't know what to do. However, the idea of "readiness" can be slippery.

For many, it's less about having the right job or partner and more about feeling emotionally equipped. And often, that sense of internal preparedness never quite arrives. According to the researchers, this hesitation may stem from the fear of being a "bad" parent — of not having what it takes to nurture, protect and raise another human being.

"People feel insecure and perceive themselves as incompetent to take on the parenting role," the authors explain. "This seems to be related to the high expectations that potential parents internalize, which consequently has a paralyzing effect."

These high expectations are fueled each day — by social media, parenting books and even by well-meaning advice. Over time, it's easy to start believing that a good parent must be perfectly patient, selfless, emotionally regulated, financially stable and always putting their children first. That's an objectively tall order — and for many, the fear of falling short becomes enough reason to wait. Or to quietly wonder, "If I don't feel ready by now… will I ever?"

2. 'I Still Have So Much I Want to Do First'

For some, delaying parenthood is more so about freedom than it is about fear. A growing number of people — especially younger adults, or those born into more individualistic societies — feel like they still have dreams to chase, goals to meet or simply a life to live on their own terms before taking on the responsibility of raising a child.

This might mean finishing grad school, traveling the world, focusing on a creative passion or just enjoying the spontaneity that comes with not having to answer to anyone else.

In this context, parenthood can feel like a door closing on another version of life you're not quite done living. "For some, the priority is to achieve life's aspirations and goals," the researchers explain. "In this sense, having a child would be a significant obstacle to such a plan."

Many people may regard this as a selfish reason to delay parenthood. In reality, however, it reflects a healthy desire to know oneself more fully before stepping into a role that demands so much sacrifice. If anything, this kind of honesty and patience is necessary before committing to parenthood.

People want to arrive at parenthood feeling like they've lived enough of their own life to be able to devote themselves to someone else's. And until that box is checked, the timing may never feel quite right.

3. 'It Just Sounds So Overwhelming'

Even if you do want kids, it's hard to ignore the reality of what parenting actually entails: sleepless nights, possible financial stress, constant emotional labor and a near-total reorientation of your daily life. For some, this reality feels less like a challenge and more like a looming burden.

"Parenting is also perceived as a burden, which is related to the fear of the challenges and sacrifices that raising a child forces," the authors note. This isn't to doubt one's ability to love a child — it more likely reflects what that love might cost you.

Parenthood comes with countless duties and consequences. As such, being concerned about its effects on your personal time, emotional bandwidth and ability to care for your own needs is both a valid and natural response — especially if you already felt depleted by work, stress or mental health struggles. There's also the fear of burnout, and of becoming someone who resents parenthood because they went into it without enough support or self-preservation.

In this sense, delaying parenthood becomes less of an avoidance-based strategy, and more so a preservation-based one. Since many people know it's likely going to be tough, they may want to be strong enough to handle it first.

4. 'What If Everything Changes?'

There's also a more existential fear that comes into play: the fear of change itself. What if you start losing your sense of self? What if your relationship shifts in ways you didn't expect? What if you lose control over your life?

Parenthood reshapes every corner of your life — from your relationship, to your body, to your identity. And for people who value stability, control or routine, that kind of change can feel deeply unsettling.

"The time and commitment to raising a child is seen as competing with the existing routine of life," the researchers explain. "It also signifies a change in both the relationship between the couple and in the woman's body."

This fear of disruption might show up in subtle ways — like delaying serious conversations about family planning or focusing on life milestones (like buying a home) that feel more within reach. But underneath, there's often a greater fear at large: "Will I still recognize my life — or myself — if I become a parent?"

For anyone who's worked tirelessly to build a life that feels stable and self-directed, the idea of surrendering it for something unpredictable — no matter how meaningful it may prove — can be difficult to accept.

5. 'I Just Don't Feel Financially Stable Enough'

It's nearly impossible to discuss delaying parenthood without mentioning money; even individuals who want kids may feel like they simply can't afford them. The cost of housing, healthcare, education and everyday childcare continues to rise — and for people already living paycheck to paycheck, the mere thought of adding a dependent can be terrifying.

"The cost of raising a child, as perceived by potential parents, is sometimes greater than their current financial capabilities," the authors note.

Again, this is more than just a self-absorbed concern; it's both warranted and necessary. In today's day and age, all prospective parents should give thought to the kind of life they're capable of giving to a child. In doing so, a greater question often naturally follows: What if I can't give them what they need? What if they suffer because I wasn't financially ready?

For people who grew up with financial instability themselves, this fear can be especially potent. Even if they have enough to get by, they might not feel like they have enough to provide the safety, comfort and opportunity that every child deserves.

And so, they wait — or, spend years pondering whether the life they've built will ever feel "secure enough" to support someone else.

6. 'Is This Even The Right World To Bring A Child Into?'

Finally, there's the question that more and more people are asking: Would it even be ethical to bring a child into this world?

Climate change, war, political polarization, total economic collapse — the general unpredictability of the future can all weigh heavily on people who are thinking about becoming parents.

Considering the state of global headlines in the last few weeks, it's only natural to worry about what kind of world your child-to-be would inherit. No matter how much you'd like to have a child, it can still feel wildly unfair to leave them — and the rest of their generation — to cope with the aftermath of it all.

The researchers acknowledge these fears, too. "There are also themes of the uncertainty and instability of the current political situation, the threat of war and climate change," they explain. "This may show the role of values related to responsibility for the safety and health of offspring."

If anything, this is perhaps the most empathetic concern of all — despite how despairing it is. People want to protect their hypothetical children from suffering. When the future feels uncertain, it can feel irresponsible to intentionally bring someone into it. For some, this leads to difficult decisions. For others, it leads to mourning a version of parenthood they no longer feel comfortable pursuing.

Do you feel the weight of these concerns in your current parenthood journey? Take this science-backed test to learn more: Parental Burnout Assessment.

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.