3 Things We Can Learn From The 'Divorce Revolution'

The divorce trends from the '60s to '80s can teach us much about what separates strong marriages from weak ones.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | May 12, 2025

Getting married and starting a family is often considered a natural destination in life, not just a personal choice. But when expectations collide with reality, even sacred bonds can falter.

Divorce has existed just as long as marriage has. The two go hand in hand, but the real question isn't why. It's how.

In 1969, California Governor Ronald Reagan signed the nation's first no-fault divorce law — a move he later called "one of the greatest regrets of his political life."

What began as a way to make separations less bitter ignited a cultural wildfire. Within 15 years, nearly every U.S. state followed suit. The Divorce Revolution had begun.

Divorce rates doubled, and it seemed families were changing overnight. And so did the blueprint for what marriage meant in American life. Here are three lessons that came into sharp focus during that era.

1. Feelings Alone Aren't A Strong Enough Foundation

For most of American history, marriage was rooted in duty: building a home, raising kids, creating stability. Love mattered, but it wasn't the whole deal.

In the late 1960s and '70s, that script flipped. A wave of psychological thinking encouraged people to view marriage as a path to personal growth and emotional satisfaction. If a relationship wasn't making you happy, it was seen as a sign to move on.

Divorce rates soared, and by 1980, nearly half of first marriages were ending.

But emotions, by nature, are unstable. It turned out that the best marriages were built on a mix of shared purpose, trust and resilience — not just passion. One of the clearest lessons from that period is that love needs more than love to survive.

2. Divorce Has Hidden Costs For Children

This is common knowledge today, but in the 1970s, many believed that kids were better off if unhappy parents split up. As long as the adults were calmer afterward, it was assumed children would bounce back.

But long-term psychological studies showed otherwise.

Children of divorced parents were far more likely to struggle in school, battle anxiety and depression or face poverty and legal trouble. What's more revealing is that the worst effects weren't from high-conflict homes — they were from relatively peaceful marriages that quietly unraveled, taking along with them a sense of stability.

Stability itself turned out to be a major ingredient for a child's well-being. Even when a marriage wasn't perfect, staying together often gave kids a stronger emotional and financial foundation than the uncertainty that followed divorce. The narrative that "children are resilient" missed an uncomfortable truth: family disruption often leaves lasting marks.

3. Maturity And Timing Matter More Than Ever

One shift that helped stabilize marriages after the divorce boom was that people started marrying later.

In 1970, the average woman married at 20; by 2007, it had risen to 26. That delay reflected a deeper recognition that emotional maturity, financial footing and life experience are critical for long-term commitment.

Data shows that those who marry older — and with clearer personal goals — are far less likely to divorce. But today, many social scientists believe there's a Goldilocks zone when it comes to timing.

Research by sociologist Nicholas H. Wolfinger found that couples who marry between the ages of 28 and 32 experience the lowest risk of divorce. Marrying a little later gives individuals time to build emotional maturity, financial stability and a clearer sense of what they want in a partner. But after 32, the odds of divorce start creeping up again, rising by about 5% with each passing year. It seems waiting helps — up to a point.

Returning to the Divorce Revolution, the fallout hasn't been evenly distributed.

Today, marriage is increasingly the domain of the educated and economically secure. Those with fewer resources often find marriage harder to sustain, not because they value it less, but because stable partnership demands a level of security that's become harder to achieve.

Are you satisfied in your relationship or feeling driven toward divorce? Take the science-backed Relationship Satisfaction Scale to learn where you stand.

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.