3 Signs That You're 'Echoing' A Narcissist

Do you, like Echo, loyally admire someone who only admires themselves? Here's three signs that you might be a narcissist's Echo.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | February 27, 2025

The term "narcissist" originates from a well-known Greek myth about a man so strikingly handsome and self-absorbed that he was cursed to fall in love with his own reflection. While the story is widely recognized for inspiring the term "Narcissistic Personality Disorder," many overlook a crucial character in the narrative.

Echo was the unfortunate nymph who fell in love with Narcissus—a man so vain he could never love anyone more than he loved himself. Having been cursed by the Goddess Hera, Echo could only repeat the last words spoken by someone else and could not articulate her love to Narcissus.

The story concludes with both characters meeting their end. Echo wastes away because of her one true love's painful rejection, and Narcissus dies of thirst while enamored by his own reflection in a lake.

The story is a grim reminder that every narcissist needs their own Echo, a loyal admirer who reinforces their delusions and self-importance. Without someone to validate their ego, their illusion begins to crumble.

Recognizing this pattern is important, because you might be the person unknowingly fueling a narcissist's behavior. Knowing the signs can help you end the cycle of dependence and invite healthier relationships into your life.

Here are three signs that you might be the "echoist" to the narcissist in your life.

1. You Are Agreeable At The Cost Of Your Well-Being

Echoism is often the exact opposite of narcissism, and that's why this relationship works—at least for the narcissist. While narcissists crave attention, echoists tend to avoid it, especially when it is negative. They very quickly learn that when it comes to the narcissist in their lives, keeping the peace means agreeing even when it's not in their best interest.

Echoists tend to prioritize harmony over personal expression, fearing that disagreement will provoke anger, withdrawal or punishment. Instead of asserting their own thoughts, they instinctively mirror the narcissist's opinions, preferences and desires.

The 2017 book Echoism: The Silenced Response to Narcissism explains that this pattern can stem from early experiences with a narcissistic parent or partner, where keeping the peace felt safer than standing up for oneself.

Over time, constantly accommodating the narcissist's needs can erode self-confidence, making it harder to recognize and voice personal boundaries. If you find yourself suppressing your true thoughts to avoid conflict or gain approval, it may be time to reflect on whether your agreeableness is coming at too great a cost.

If this sounds familiar, breaking a pattern in which other people's needs always come before your own can be challenging. Seeking professional help can empower you to start asking for what you need in relationships and set firm boundaries between yourself and those with narcissistic tendencies. This may not be easy, but you deserve to be heard and respected.

2. You Shoulder The Blame In The Relationship

Narcissists often gaslight others to protect their prized self-image. Such individuals often avoid taking personal responsibility at all costs, even when caught red-handed. This is precisely why relationships with echoists are so beneficial to them—because echoists are often willing to shoulder the blame, even when it is not theirs to bear.

Echoists tend to internalize responsibility for issues in their relationships, especially when dealing with a narcissistic partner or family member. In contrast, narcissists rarely admit fault; instead, they deflect, deny or shift blame onto those closest to them.

Over time, echoists may start believing they are the problem, constantly apologizing or working harder to "fix" things that were never their fault to begin with. This self-blame can lead to feelings of guilt, shame and emotional exhaustion, making it even harder to break free from the cycle.

If you find yourself constantly questioning whether you're the "difficult" one in the relationship, it may be a sign that you're carrying more emotional weight than you should.

Research published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin shows that narcissists tend to view themselves as victims, which helps them justify their own mistreatment of others. With no one to call them out, the echoist ends up being the one to apologize for it.

If you are in a relationship where you constantly hear the words, "I wouldn't have done that if you hadn't done X," and you are made to feel at fault for the other person's choices, it's a clear sign of emotional manipulation.

3. You Focus On Their Needs At Your Own Detriment

If you're in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic traits, you might feel that it's your duty to focus on their needs constantly. This might even be something that is reinforced by cultural or gender stereotypes. This dynamic can create a deeply co-dependent relationship, where the echoist becomes so accustomed to their role that it starts to feel normal.

A 2024 study published in Behavioural Sciences found that individuals with a tendency toward emotional dependency—a common trait among echoists—are more likely to choose narcissistic partners. These dominant partners naturally take control of the relationship, while the echoist falls into a more submissive role, reinforcing the imbalance of power.

Because of these inclinations, it can be easy for the echoist to dismiss their partner's demands as a "normal" part of their relationship. While there's nothing wrong with caring for the people you love, it's important to put on your own "oxygen mask" first—if meeting someone's needs constantly hurts your well-being, it's time to reconsider the relationship.

Recognizing that you might be an echoist can be unsettling, but it's also the first step toward reclaiming your voice. The truth is, no relationship should require you to disappear to keep the peace.

While narcissists thrive on validation, echoists often struggle with self-assertion—yet both roles are rooted in fear. The narcissist fears losing admiration, while the echoist fears conflict, rejection or abandonment.

However, you are not bound to this dynamic. While Echo's voice was stolen, yours is still within you. Healing starts with small but powerful steps—learning to say no without guilt, setting firm boundaries and recognizing that your worth isn't tied to how well you accommodate others. Surrounding yourself with supportive people who respect your needs can help you rewrite the script of your relationships.

Ultimately, the healthiest love is one where both voices are heard. By stepping out of the echoist role, you give yourself permission to exist fully, not just as a reflection of someone else—but as someone who matters in their own right.

Are you an echoist who might not be satisfied with your relationship? Take this science-backed test to find out: Relationship Satisfaction Scale

A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.