2 Ways That 'Money Motives' Can Influence Your Love Life
Research shows that sharing financial goals with your partner is more important than you think.
By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | March 25, 2024
A 2024 study published in the journal Personal Relationships examined the association between married couples' financial values and their level of marital satisfaction. Financial values may include financial priorities, how one believes money should be spent and what they actually choose to spend on.
Researchers found that depending on these "money motives," marital satisfaction could either rise or face a sharp decline, affecting a couple's future together.
Here are two ways in which money motives impact relationships, according to the 2024 study.
1. Self-Integrated Money Motives
"Self-integrated" money motives refer to financial goals or desires that are aligned with an individual's personal values, beliefs and life goals. Here, an individual's pursuit of financial success stems from seeking personal growth and exists in harmony with their sense of purpose.
An individual with self-integrated money motives might aim to accumulate wealth not just for its own sake but with positive intentions such as supporting their family, contributing to charitable causes, wanting to feel pride, pursuing their passions and having the ability to engage in a variety of leisure activities.
Researchers found that when an individual holds self-integrated money motives or perceives their partner as holding them, they are more likely to experience higher relationship satisfaction.
Couples often enter marriage with individual financial goals and values shaped by their upbringing, experiences and personal beliefs. Sharing these motives allows partners to understand each other better, prioritize goals, allocate resources accordingly and work towards common objectives such as saving for a house, planning for retirement or supporting their children's education.
Further, when financial motives and values are in alignment, it can make partners feel as though they are on the same page and are spending money in responsible ways, making informed decisions about spending, saving and investing. Such effective communication enhances marital satisfaction.
"Holding and perceiving integrated money motives may benefit interpersonal relationships regardless of whether their partner shares them," the researchers explain, highlighting that while sharing similarities in self-integrated motives are helpful, it is even more important that partners support these motives in one another.
2. Non-Integrated Money Motives
"Non-integrated money motives" tend to involve financial goals or behaviors that are disconnected from an individual's deeper values and life aspirations.
Individuals with non-integrated money motives are driven by external pressures or societal norms and seek to address imagined shortcomings. This may include using earnings for impulse buying or to reduce feelings of self-doubt and feel superior to others.
In this case, someone may pursue wealth without considering how it aligns with their personal growth, leading to a sense of emptiness or dissatisfaction even if they achieve their monetary goals.
Researchers found that either holding or perceiving a romantic partner as having non-integrated money motives is associated with lower relationship satisfaction. However, if both partners have non-integrated money motives, this similarity can create higher relationship satisfaction, albeit not benefiting the couple in the long run. Any dissimilarity in these motives leads to worse relationship satisfaction.
Research shows that compared to non-monetary issues, disagreements about money are more pervasive, problematic, recurrent and remain largely unresolved. Financial disagreements are also strong predictors of divorce.
Additionally, research shows that while self-integrated motives are associated with greater well-being, non-integrated motives do not meet the fundamental human needs for experiencing autonomy, competence and a sense of belonging, which lead to lower well-being.
Further, a 2017 study found that using financial success to determine one's self-worth is associated with more financial social comparisons, financial hassles, stress, anxiety and lower levels of personal agency.
Financial stress can also result in lower emotional well-being and a negative evaluation of one's life. This can exacerbate conflicts between couples who have different perspectives on spending money, hampering the marital quality they experience.
Instead, an alignment in positive financial values sets one up for success—financially, personally and relationally. Working on one's relationship with money can strengthen the foundation of a marriage, ensuring that each partner feels respected, supported and empowered to achieve their financial aspirations together.
Do you worry about the quality of your romantic connection? Take this test to learn more: Relationship Satisfaction Scale
A similar version of this article can also be found on Forbes.com, here.