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Love Language Scale

Do your partner's gestures of affection feel like they're falling short? Empower yourself and your relationship by learning your love language.

Mark Travers, Ph.D.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D.

January 8, 2024

Mark Travers, Ph.D., is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, responsible for new client intake and placement. Mark received his B.A. in psychology, magna cum laude, from Cornell University and his M.A. and Ph.D. from the University of Colorado Boulder. His academic research has been published in leading psychology journals and has been featured in The New York Times and The New Yorker, among other popular publications. He is a regular contributor for Forbes and Psychology Today, where he writes about psycho-educational topics such as happiness, relationships, personality, and life meaning. Click here to schedule an initial consultation with Mark or another member of the Awake Therapy team. Or, you can drop him a note here.

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Love languages, a concept popularized by Dr. Gary Chapman, provide a unique lens through which we understand and express affection in relationships. The idea posits that individuals have distinct ways of giving and receiving love, akin to languages that vary from person to person. These love languages encompass:

Understanding the significance of identifying one's love language is paramount in fostering healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Without this awareness, partners may struggle to effectively communicate their love, leading to misunderstandings and unmet emotional needs. Recognizing one's love language enables individuals to articulate their desires and provides a roadmap for their partners to express affection in ways that resonate most profoundly.

The Love Language Scale serves as a valuable tool in this journey of self-discovery. Comprising 20 statements that individuals rate based on personal preferences, the scale helps uncover how one prefers to give and receive love. This introspective process enhances emotional intelligence, equipping individuals with insights into their own needs and communication styles.

As a practical and accessible psychological tool, the Love Language Scale empowers individuals to navigate the complexities of relationships with a deeper understanding of themselves and their partners, allowing for relationships filled with fulfilling tokens of affection.

References: Egbert, N. & Polk, D. (2006). Speaking the language of relational maintenance: A validity test of Chapman’s (1992) five love languages. Communication Research Reports, 23(1). 19-26.

Step 1: Rate the following statements based on how much you agree with them on a scale of strongly disagree to strongly agree.

1. Run errands for me.

2. Hug me.

3. Compliment me.

4. Really listen to me.

5. Give me a thoughtful birthday gift.

6. Finish a chore for me when I don’t have time to do it.

7. Give me a kiss.

8. Tell me that they appreciate me.

9. Spend time with me doing something we both like.

10. Pick up a greeting card for me.

11. Help me out when I need it.

12. Hold my hand.

13. Give me credit for something good I did.

14. Have a quality conversation with me.

15. Give me a surprise present when there’s no special occasion.

16. Help me keep things cleaned up.

17. Touch me.

18. Give me positive comments.

19. Spend their free time with me.

20. Give me a small present when they come home from a trip.

0 of 0 questions answered

Step 2: Enter your age, gender, region, and first name so we can provide you with a detailed report that compares your test scores with people similar to you.

What is your age?

What is your gender?

What region of the world do you live in?

What is your first name?

Step 3: Check to make sure you've provided answers to all of the statements/questions above. Once you've done that, click the button below to send your responses to Awake Therapy's Lead Psychologist, Mark Travers, Ph.D. He will provide you with an overview of how you scored relative to others (all answers are anonymized and confidential to protect users' privacy). He can also answer any follow-up questions you may have.