Are Rich People Less Likely To Find Love?

A psychologist explains how the wealth-love paradox can make long-term relationships improbable for the fortunate ones.

By Mark Travers, Ph.D. | September 28, 2023

From providing a sense of security to buying the best vacations in the world, there's no denying that money brings with it certain luxuries. A study published in Social Indicators Research revealed that financial status explains roughly 10% of the variance in individuals' satisfaction with life, which is significant.

This goes beyond mere income, and emphasizes the importance of a holistic view of one's economic position. However, while money can indeed enhance feelings of security and fulfill certain psychological needs, it doesn't necessarily guarantee emotional connection or romantic compatibility.

Many affluent people often say that it is hard for them to find love and companionship. They say things like:

  • "Balancing my business with romantic relationships often leaves me wondering if true love is out of reach."
  • "Sometimes I feel that my lifestyle isolates me, making it hard to find someone who appreciates my genuine qualities."
  • "With frequent travels and events, I'm left pondering if people are drawn to me or the world around me."

These Are Genuine Concerns, But There Is Hope

Despite a mainstream trend toward open-casting, affluence does tend to narrow your dating pool. The wealthy seem to be looking for specific characteristics in a long-term relationship — so much so that they are happy to pay a premium (to exclusive dating coaches, apps and websites) to find potential partners.

If you're affluent and experience challenges in forming a genuine bond, reflecting on how wealth shapes your romantic perceptions might offer valuable insights.

For instance, one 2016 study published in Frontiers in Psychology revealed that greater wealth can influence relationship satisfaction based on a partner's appearance, especially for straight men. Additionally, wealthier individuals, regardless of gender, often feel more entitled to pursue attractive prospects outside their relationship.

A 2012 study published in PNAS found that affluence was linked to a somewhat relaxed attitude toward unethical behavior in people. Based on the study, here are some ways wealthier people may inadvertently alienate themselves in close relationships:

  • Lax attitude towards rules. They are more prone to break laws while driving, hinting at a belief that certain rules might not apply to them.
  • Skewed ethical compass. Their decision-making might lean towards self-interest over fairness, evidenced by instances of lying in negotiations or endorsing questionable practices at work.
  • Inconsideration. There's a noted likelihood of them taking valued items from others, which could reflect a lack of empathy or understanding.
  • Overemphasis on winning. Whether in games or work scenarios, they might go to lengths, even cheating, to ensure they come out on top.

The study suggests that these unethical tendencies are, in part, influenced by their more favorable attitudes toward greed. This can create an environment where forming genuine, trusting relationships becomes challenging.

It is important to note, however, that an environment set up for research is not the same as the real world. While these are generalizations based on scientific findings, your individual situation can vary.

If you see these traits in yourself, it's essential to remember that it is a chicken-or-egg situation. Many attributes that drive people to amass wealth, such as determination, self-confidence and risk-taking, can inadvertently contribute to interpersonal challenges. It's probably not that affluence makes one unethical; rather, the road to immense success might sometimes involve decisions that prioritize self-interest.

So, what's the solution? Here are some strategies that the wealthy can adopt, inspired by the principles of smart investments:

  • Diversify your social portfolio. Just as diversification in investments reduces risk, interacting with a diverse group of individuals can offer a richer perspective on life and relationships, which is highly valuable.
  • Seek value, not just growth. Instead of always aiming to "win" or seeking flashy, short-term relationships, look for connections that provide deep, intrinsic value.
  • Assess risks in relationships. In business, understanding potential risks is vital. In relationships, this translates to understanding both your vulnerabilities and those of your partner, fostering a deeper emotional connection.
  • Continual learning. Just as industries evolve, understanding love and relationships requires continual self-reflection and education. Consider relationship counseling or workshops as a form of "professional development" for your personal life.

Conclusion

At the heart of every individual, wealthy or not, lies a desire for genuine connection. Wealth can indeed attract a myriad of suitors, but the challenge lies in discerning authenticity. Everyone deserves to find that special someone who sees beyond the bank balance. With patience, self-awareness and a bit of strategy, love is not just a lucrative investment, but a priceless one.